Letting Go...

What is the difference between moving on and letting go?.. 

If I would be asked to define 'moving on' I would say its more about life changing part, Its a process where you let your self go on with your life alone. It's more about going back into your life track before getting involved in a relationship. I'm not saying that moving on is easy, we all know it's not. Been there, done that. But it's something that we should do in order to live a normal life and stop being miserable after having a painful heartbreak. 

While 'Letting Go' is more on feelings. After crying a pool of tears every night and every single day, starving yourself, listening to your heartbreak songs, making yourself miserable and such. This is the stage where you finally get over on all the pain you had gone through, it's the time where you realize and accept that everything happens for a reason. Lemme say, you finally let go of everything when you finally got yourself back on track, it's when you feel happy because there's so many reasons to be happy than to feel sad and lonely just because something happened the way you didn't want them to be. Do you get me?

I wanna share the feeling that I have now. After a long time of holding on to the feelings that I thought would last forever, after crying a river, after a bloody fight on the moving on stage and after realizing that life has so much to offer, finally.. I can finally say that, I had moved on and I am letting all the feelings go. The pain of heartbreak, endless sentiments, regrets and hatreds.

Moving on is hard but after you had done on this part and let go of everything that brought pain to you, after accepting everything, you'll next have the best feeling. The feeling of facing life with a new you, a new life and a new heart that is strong and courageous. 

God has better plans for me than I do and I believe that he's working on the best love story for me. It may not be the perfect love story I dreamed of ever since but I know, the love story that he prepares for me is worth the wait. 

PS: Dear Future someone who's destined for me, I am looking forward to meet you soon. :) I can't promise not to hurt you, but I can assure you that I will take good care of you and I will love you true. So, see you soon?..

PPS: Pinag-p-pray kita kaya sana, iba ka na talaga. Aldub you!.

Friendship it is..

Love... 1 word, 4 letters,.

I wanna make this entry short as much as I can..

And so I just finished watching the last 3 episode of OTWOL and at the moment I am listening to the soap's theme song which is 'On The Wings of Love' JaDine version level 999!!. Dont get me wrong,. I am a solid AlDub fanatic. Its just that I got curious about the OTWOL finale. 

Dear Aldubnation, inaamin ko, nagtaksil ako ng isang gabi sa fanmily natin..huhuhu..sorry na please??..

I admit. I am a big fan of happy-ever-after stories. And really, bilib ako sa mga showbiz people na nakaka-survive ng relationship nila kahit ang daming nakikisawsaw and such,. Isnt amazing that, no matter how difficult it is to handle a showbiz career, they still manage to make their relationship survive and make it to the altar together?..and live happily ever after... awww.. how's that?.. Isnt great to be inlove and be loved at the same time?..

Are you brokenhearted now and you're one of those who always says, "walang Forever"?.. oh come on!. take a look at your family picture. Guilty as charge,. I was one of those who always says, 'walang forever!' those were the times where I feel so broken hearted and I feel betrayed but, Whenever I pass to a certain spot in our house, there's this picture hanged in the wall that made me believe that at some point, the word "Forever" really exist. My loving parents surrounded by 4 off-springs who stands as their evidence of their love in one picture. Our Family picture.

Going back, so I was talking about OTWOL lately and just had finished watching JaDine's interview with Grethen Ho and Robi Domingo. Though I am a 'pure blooded' AlDub fan, I cant halp to feel 'kilig' while watching their interview. The way they look at each other, their classped hands, their sweet glances and the way they describe each other. Hay!. lakas maka-ALDUB din kaya!. Kilig Level 999.7?. sorry hindi ko talaga kayang ibigay ang Level 999.9 kasi, sa AlDub/MaiDen yun!. hehehe..

From Reel to Real. 

So umamin na ang JaDine.. at nakakakilig talaga yung moment nila promise!. James Reid amazed me. Yung sinabi nyang 'Nadine.....I.. Love You' sa harap ng maraming tao. Its not that easy just like what others think,. it takes a lot of courage pero nagawa nya di ba?.. :) 

As of AlDub naman,. dahil naghihintay pa silang dalawa ng right time. one step at a time. Slowly but surely.. ayiiie.. cant wait kahit parang may something na talaga.. huehue.. excited tayo ADN sa takdang panahon. Yes?.. Yes of course!. hehehe.

AlDub and JaDine. From Reel to Real. So, who's next?..ay ang showbiz..

To end this entry. I want to share something, bigla ko lang din kasing na-realize 'to.

We often say, except for Love, 'Trust' is the main and strongest foundation of a relationship. But for me, 'Friendship' is still the best foundation of a good relationship. Why? Because here is where the real relationship starts. How will you know someone if he/she is not be your friend at first? How will you trust someone if he/she is not your friend? How will you love someone you don't know and you don't trust in the first place?.. right?.

So, Frienship it is. Yes?. For me it is. Because Daddy and Mama start as friends. Well, me and David started as friends too before and hopefully, we'll be back to being friends again soon. James and Nadine started as friends too.. At syempre ang peborit kong mag BFF,. Alden and Maine. Friends, Close Friends, BFF , Special friends,.whatever they call it..basta Friends sila at sana talaga,. magkatuluyan din sila evetually. Pero ulit,. mas type ko ung mag-BetterHalf.. ayiiii.. :*


Nikita..

Faith...

Hi!. so, it's me again.hehehe..

I've been kinda busy for quite awhile so I cant post an entry. But anyways,. nothing extra-ordinary happened naman during those days, sadyang tinamad lang ako at pinalipas ko ang monthly exam kaya nagpaka-busy ako 'kuno'.

In my past entries, nasabi ko nang naglalagi ako sa place ni Padre Pio di ba?.. Kapag wala akong magawa at may extra time, I made sure to pay a visit and pray and of course, my favorite part,.. lightning a candle. Ewan ko ba pero, iba kasi talaga ang feeling after staying in the place kahit pa saglit lang. Whenever I got the chance, I am attending the daily mass kahit pa ang hirap kasi umuuwi ako ng Pampanga. I am so bless with so much, pati ung tipong minsan parang, hindi ko na deserve. Realization starts the first time I visited St.Pio. I cant remember the exact month but I know that was 20th of the month. I prayed so hard and ask for guidance to pass the monthly exam. At first, I feel a little bit of.,errr di ko ma-explain. Para sa isang tulad ko na hindi ganon katibay ang Faith. Parang 'ah okay,.wala naman akong choice kundi magtiwala..kung hindi matupad, edi okay lang din. Atleast I tried and I prayed' ung mga ganyang thoughts. I was with karla that time. Sya kasi ung pinaka religious sa paningin ko, well, my bestfriends Julie and Eunice are religious person but they belong to different religion. They are Born Again Christian and I am Roman Catholic so is Karla. 

I dont know why after my first visit, hindi ko na mapigilan. I always try to find time to pay visit nga everytime. Guilty as charged, I am one of those who will only pray kapag may kailangan, kapag may hihingin and I really feel sorry for myself because Im loving God the wrong way. 

So the monthly exam came and done. I pray so hard, I even cry. But what amazed me is that, I passed the exam. I got perfect score to be exact! I feel so blessed that day!. hinding hinding hindi ko kakalimutan ang araw na yon. I payed a visit again after knowing my score in the exam. I lightened a candle and silently prayed to say thank you. I know that 'He' did not used magic or something for me to pass the exam, I did reviewed everything that is needed to pass the exam but I do believe that, without 'his' guidance, I will not pass the exam. I cant pass the exam because I lack of self-esteem. As in wala talaga akong tiwala lalo na dalawang beses kong ibinagsak ang exam ng magkasunod!.

It was a wish granted for many. But for me? It is an answered prayer. Its been months now since I made it a habit to visit St.Padre Pio of Pietrelcina Chapel. Im trying to pay a visit every week kahit, once a week lang. Im obliging myself because I am trying to built up a stronger Faith. Wait, let me re-phrase that, Im building a stronger Faith. For a long time, I am looking for 'that' thing I lack of,. and I think I already know what that 'thing' is. Faith.

Sa ngayon,. wala naman na akong mahihiling pa. For I feel so much blessed. Dati kaya hindi ako aware!. Kasi binabalewala ko lang ung mga blessings. It was like, its normal to have this and that and such kaya hindi talaga ako pala-thank you kay Lord. Minsan lang. So yun na nga, After I passed the exam, edi syempre natuwa naman daw ako.. Halos araw arawin ko na nga ang paglalagi sa St.Pio..hehehe.. karaniwang Visit lang naman ang lagi kong ginagawa since I dont have much time. Usually kasi nagpupunta ako before pumasok sa office since night shift ako. pag morning shift naman paglabas ng office ako pumupunta or after I came back from Pampanga. Hindi naman every visit my hinihingi ako,. I am paying a visit to say 'thank you'.. Promise!.. 

Great Power comes with Great Responsibility. Sabi ko naman, Stronger Faith comes with so much Realization. Realizations like, how lucky you are to be called a child of God, How great it is to be loved by God and How blessed you are to be surrounded by good people sent by God to help you, guide you and encourage you to be a better person. A better person who is  Imperfect but strong, brave and Faithful. naks!. Ako pa naman 'to Lord no?..hehehe

Its a tradition in St.Pio to donate a rosary whenever devoties had their prayers answered or their wishes were granted. I already donated two brown rosaries. hehehehe.. but that doesnt meant I only had two answered prayers. I tell you,. I am so blessed to have everything I have now even I though I didnt ask for some of it, but still I am thankful that 'He' had bless me with 'so much'. Sabi ko nga di ba,. wala naman akong hinihingi lagi pag nagpupunta ako. Nagpapasalamat lang ako sa mga blessings. Pero recently, I ask for guidance para kay dad bucause he will under go CT-Scan., and as per mom, wala naman daw problem and okay naman lahat. Again, I am so amazed and thankful. Iba parin talaga pag buo ung Faith mo. Kapag naniniwala ka. Amen?.. Amen.

To end this entry, I want to share something..hehehehe..recently lang din,. I have this secret wish.. and this time its not for a friend or for my family. Its for myself. Hay...sana talaga... :) I'll share it kapag answered na. Samin na muna yun ni Lord at Padre Pio..hehehe I know, in his perfect time., matutupad yon.

Nikita.. :) 

Miyuki Maine

Hi! Its been awhile since I posted an entry. Sorry I've been so busy for the ps\ast few days and I canr find time to share some of my thoughts though I have so many on my mind. :)

Last February 11, Yukimeng (Miyuki Maine is her real name) my niece had been baptized. It was just a simple celebration but its kinda tiring. But anyways, it turns out fine naman. After the celebration mama bring Yukimeng home. My ate stayed at her in-laws abode para magligpit ng mga dapat iligpit don. So when mama arrived, she asked me to look over Yukimeng so she can do naman the household chores sa bahay. Yukimeng is a typical baby who would keep bubbling baby words and cry whenever you ignore her. Nakakatuwa na nakakabaliw!. ang daldal nya manang mana talaga sa mga tita! XD Minsan ang chirpy nya pero madalas masungit. hehe.. mana sa lolo din minsan. Sa ngayon, she's the apple of our eyes. Bias kame kasi sya ang first apo at pamangkin so I will say, Yukimeng is the cutest, yummiest(angtabakasieh), most lovable and the most adorable baby!..  (trivia: She is named after yaya Dub, Maine Mendoza though my Ate's name is Charmaine, ang 'Maine' daw sa pangalan ni Yukimeng ay galing sa real name ni Yaya Dub.)

So much for our bebe Dub (that's how we call yuki sometimes..hehe )

Belated Happy Hearts Day ebriwan!..


Signing in,

Nikitamae