Dear Someone I am praying for..

I dont know if this is still right. To wait for you and to pray for you knowing that you are in love with someone else. 

I dont know when it really started. You were just like a random thought that cross my mind. Una talaga parang wala lang. Ni hindi nga ako na-hookagad sa charms mo though lagi na kitang nakikita since naging active ako sa mga social media accounts ko. Until one day, I saw my old self in your tweet. Hugot kung hugot eh! haha!! Since then lagi ko ng inaabangan ang mga post at tweets mo. I made sure to hit the like botton everytime you cross my newsfeed on tweeter, facebook and Instagram. 

I rarely get attracted to anyone kahit sobrang gwapo pa yan. So, consider yourself lucky dahil nasilo mo ang paningin kong choosy. hehe.. At this age of 22, turning 23 this coming October, mabibilang ko talaga sa mga daliri ko sa kamay kung ilan na nag naging crush ko simuula ng mauso ang pagkakaroon ng crush. Ewan ko ba pero totoo talaga yon. Napaka arte ko di ba? So ayun na nga.. Crush na kita. :) Ay wait! erase!. Mas tama yata yung, naging crush nakita kasi, iba na ngayon eh. Hindi na yata crush lang. But then again, let me emphasis the word "yata". hayyyy... 

1:100 lang naman ang probability na mabasa mo ito pero sana, sana talaga... mabasa ko kahit hindi mo naman din malalaman na para sayo ito unless, mag milagro ang langit at igrant ni Lord ang prayers ko. :) 

So, this one is for you..

Plain and simple, nothing special. I am living a simple life. We are living in a perfect opposite world. I grew up in a simple way having only what I need while you, I think you grew up having everything. 

As impossible as a thunder rain in the middle of the dessert in the afternoon. Thats how I describe our chances to meet each other. It feels like you we're too high to reach and too far to get close.

But Im still hoping for the most impossible thing that can happen. I am praying for you. I am wishing for the happily ever after with you and I am waiting for you. This might be the craziest thing I ever wish for but who knows??..

Dear Someone I am praying for,

Kapag hindi kayo nagwork, seryoso.. hanapin mo ko, sasagutin ko lahat ng bitter lines at hugot mo. Sasaluhin kita kahit gaano pa kabigat at kasakit yang mararamdaman mo at mamahalin kita sa paraang kaya ko..

Love,

Someone who's praying for you. :)

Ps: Pareho tayo ng letter name initials kapag walaang middle name .. NMD iba nga lang ng arrangement..

June 27, 2016 10:43pm

It should not! 101

*deep sigh*

Three years of being single is not a big deal. Well, it should not. At the moment, I can say that I am living the time of my life. A good Job, good friends, fancy clothes, gadgets and of course stronger faith. 

I am beyond happy and blessed. Aware naman ako na sobra sobra ang blessings sakin kaya hanggat maari ay sini-share ko. Lahat na yata ng mga bagay na dinasal ko at dinadasal ko, ibinigay na at binibigay ni Lord. Pero sabi nga ng isang rule sa economics, man can never be satisfied. Its was like, after having what you want, you will surely want to have more or if not, want to have something new. And I am a living proof. Yes, sobrang blessed ako na makuha lahat ng gusto ko ngayon. Sometimes, I am thinking of, ano pa nga ba ang gusto ko? Ano pa bang kulang? 

Everytime I pray, I always say thank you for everything kasi sobrang nakaka-overwhelm yung mga natatanggap ko. Siguro kasi hindi ako sanay na laging nakukuha ang gusto ko kaya ganon nalang talaga ako sobra nabibigla minsan, yung tipong today gusto ko ng bagong damit tapos kinabukasan nabili ko na yung damit, mga tipong ganon. Pero minsan, dumadating talaga ako dun sa point na, parang may kulang. Yung may gusto ako na wala pa ako.

Whenever I see an old friend na ka-age ko that already have their own family, I always feel something different. Inggit? I dont know. Its just so nakakainggit to see them caring a cute baby, having a family date and such. Minsan naiisip ko, ano kaya ang feeling? hayyyy...

Yes! I am ready to have that 'someone' in my life. Someone I can tell all my worries and angst in life, someone I can text I love yous, someone who can hold my hand, someone I can cry and laugh with, someone who can accept and love me true. That someone who will stay with me at my worse and whom I can give my best. That someone I can finally call mine... *sigh*

Just like what I had said on my previous entry, I am praying for a specific person. Ni hindi ko nga alam kung alam ba nyang nage-exist ako. Kelan ko nga lang din nalaman na inlove sya... sa iba! (sakit bhe!) Pero gaya ng sabi ko din, I dont want to rush things for I believe, right things will happen on their own perfect time and that is, in God's perfect time. And if that someone I am praying for is not the one for me, its okay. Because I know, there will be someone for me in the future. Someone who worth the wait.

Alam kong hindi ko kailangang magmadali. Hindi ko kailangang problemahin. At hindi ako dapat mainip. Mejo nakakalungkot lang at nakakainggit. I was surrounded by people who are so inlove . Lovers are all over my sight and that was just somehow frustrating. :( I admit, I dont find myself pretty. I dont even have that sexy body. Wala din ako ng tinatawag nilang appeal. PERO, I am a Degree holder. Sa ngayon yun lang naman ang meron ako. Mabait ako, hindi ako maarte, pinalaki ako ng tama ng parents ko, may tatlong side ako, si Niki na madaldal, si Niki na tahimik at si Niki na hindi ka gusto. Simpleng-simple lang talaga ako. I am living my life the way I want it to be. Hindi ko kailangang magkunwari para i-please ang ibang tao. At hindi talaga ako ligawin na tao. May pagka-judgemental din ako minsan at gusto kong i-work out ang ugali ko na yon. Dahil ako mismo naiinis don.

To that someone I am praying for, If ever you and the girl you love now will not work out, can you please... find me???.. 

尼科喜欢尼基 <3 b="">

hayyyy! so much for now. Tomorrow I'll try to post more. :) 

尼基塔美 :) 

June 27, 2016 12:24am

Rant 101

Its not that Im complaining. 'Lemme just let it out here since I cant really tell it all personally because they might be offended. I am really fond of my niece and I find here so addicting and irresistible but you know the feeling of, ugh.. I dont know how to say it! 

My new past time in the office is online shopping. Shems yes! ONLINE! ( shopee, Lazada, olx! ) Aside from bags and clothes, I also check the baby's stuffs and everything are just so adorable and I want to buy them all for my niece. Whenever my sister ask me to buy this and that for my niece, I really find it hard to say NO! I dont know why I cant say know to her when in fact we didnt grow up that close. Sabi ko nga di ba? Nung mga bubwit palang kami hanggang sa magkaisip, may kanya kanya kaming mundong apat. We all dont share the same interests in all things. Feeling ko nga sobrang opposite kaming apat. And me and my ate are just so ugh! Hindi talaga kami magkasundo. As in we always clash! And I dont know why. Basta ang alam ko, ayaw nya sakin at ako naman kasi yung taong, kung ayaw mo sakin, mas ayaw ko sayo. 

So here's the thing. Since she got married I notice that we ( kaming apat na magkakapatid) are kinda grow up some more. What I mean is, nabawasan ng very light ang pagiging immature namin. maybe because seeing ate getting married make us realize that we are not really getting any younger. (well, thats on my side, ewan ko lang sa kuya ko at sa youngest sister namin). One thing I dont like is that, I find ate so lazy to find a job. Among us four, she is the one who is more educated. Yun talaga ang pinaniniwalaan ko kahit Degree holder ako at College graduate naman sya. She was enrolled in a Catholic School ever since she started her Student journey. From Nursery-Fourth year High School. Kaming tatlo naman, ay proud product ng Elementary School at Public High School hanggang College. I am not complaining though. I love how the Public School molded me. Because I am proud that I am employed 4 days after my college graduation! haha!. Going back, as I was saying, ate dont have a job so as her husband. Her in-laws and our parents are supporting them and the needs of my niece, their daughter. ( oh I forgot, she's a two year course graduate.) 

It irritates me whenever my mom brag me and as for something like, can you buy this, buy that and that and that for my niece. I once answered her, "kung anolang yung gustong bilhin para kay baby yun lang ang bibilhin ko." Not that I dont want to help or buy nice things for my niece but, i think we are giving too much?? Kase parang nakakalimutan ng kapatid ko na responsibilidad nila yon at hindi namin. Even my Dad is so addicted to the point na hindi nya talaga matiis hindi bigyan. My younger sister even told me once that the money I gave dad for his medicines and fruits are used to buy milk and diaper for my niece! I was like, wow! Why the hell in this world this is happening??  Nakakainis lang kasi talaga minsan. Yung bakit kasi ganyan? hay ewan ko ba! Lately, while we are preparing for Bella's birthday, my tita's are teasing me to save money for my niece's coming birthday this October. first I was just shrugging off and laugh at them pero nung paulit ulit na, I told them, mag-aasawa nako! ( this mag-aasawa nako has something to do with my next entry later. :) ). Para lang matigil sila. Like, what the?? Bakit naman nila sakin sinasabi yon eh hamak na tita lang naman ako. Yeah I know, they are telling me that because I am the one who have a job. And they know that sa panahon na kailangan, pwede nila akong tawagan. Pero di ba? Ang wifi nga namin sa bahay may limit, ako pa kaya? Ayoko lang kasi na umasa sila. October is my birth month and I want to have something new this year. So If I am saving for October, its for my birthday. 

Really, I dont want you guys to think that I am complaining. I am so blessed with so much thats why I want to share it to my family. Kung kakayanin nga lang eh, gusto ko din ito ishare sa extended family ko. Hayyyyy... 

Lord, please enlighten me. :(

love, 

Niki..

June 26,2016 11:13pm

entry 101

Its been a long and tiring day for the whole family as we celebrated Bella's first birthday. It was just a simple celebration held at our humble abode. I've been longing to post an entry because the last time I post is when we we're in Baguio pa and that is last week!! Oh dear.. I really miss the place, take me back please?..

I am really excited to go back even for a two-days-one night trip again. ( yun lang yata ang kakayanin talaga ng sched ko since ayokong mag file ng leave kung hindi rin lang naman talaga kailangan.) And one more thing to consider is my ever supportive-spoiler ( as in spoiled talaga ako sa kanya ng 999.99%) Arra Cassandra Velasquez Jimenez. :) ( isang pabebe wave para sayo my loves! ) haha! Dahil wala akong boyfriend,ka-fling at ka M.U,. Its her who I fond to call, loves, babe, baby and honey. So, ayun nga. Gusto ko lang sabihing may friend ako na gaya nya mainggit na ang gustong mainggit! charot! But kidding aside, I am looking forward to go back to Baguio with her naman dahil alam kong hinding hindi nya ako bibiguin. 

To my crazy Cassey,

I so love you!! huehue.. Im looking forward to more adventures and tours and experiences with you!

Its been a week so, Im gonna post more entries tonight. Keep reading guys!

love,

Nikita Mae

June 26, 2016 10:13pm

My happy place..

Its a tiring but fulfilling day! Guess where I am?

BAGUIO CITY!!! yay! *insert happy dance*

Sa wakas! Naibsan na ang pagkasira ng summer plans ko dahil finally! Nakalanghap na ko ng malamig na simoy ng Baguio.

Last summer, I was so disappointed and sad because we are nit able to push our Bakasyon grande in Puerto Gallera because of some private matters. Our second choice is Baguio but unfortunately, it was also cancelled. ( dont wanna mention the reasons.) 

My heart is filled with so much joy at the moment. I am here lying in the soft bed of our rented condo. Actually, we are staying here at Hotel Henrico Kisad, Baguio City. It was a 5 floor condotel ( their rooms are good and well maintained. ). The unit where we are staying at the moment have two rooms, a small terrace/balcony, 1 B/T room, small kitchen and a cute living room. It was also equiped with a flat screen tv, a desk fan (though it was really not needed), an induction cooker, rice cooker and a two door refrigerator. And ow! there's a water dispenser in the kitchen too. We are just going to stay here 2 days, 1 night, meaning this night is the only night that I will lay down in this comfy bed with a soft blanket and two fluffy pillow to cuddle and that was just so, sad. 😞

Anyways, let me share my whole day adventure. 

We left our humble home in Pampanga at 3am in the morning because we planned to go to Our Lady of Manaoag Shrine for my yearly visit before heading to Baguio. We got the chance to attend the Morning Mass and light some candles. I also bought some pasalubong for my RC friends. (not all of my friends can appreciate what I bought in the Shrine because some of them belong to different religion) Here are some of what I bought.. 😊

 

I bought these Our Lady of Manaoag small statues for those people I know who will appreciate them. I mean, not all people are that religious and have a thing on things like these right? Mama Mary is just so, so wonderful that I want to share to my friends how I was so devoted to her. 

After our little picture taking sessions, we headed to Baguio City. After 1223456789 years! Finally Im backkkkk! haha! I really miss the place, the weather and of course, the feeling. I dont know why but, I always have this feeling of unexplainable happiness whenever I go here. It was like, I belong here. My heart belong here. My young soul lives here. hayyyy..

Daddy hired a tour guide for us so that we can go to our destinations without missing our way. We really did enjoy the places we visited. Baguio was just so.. wonderful and breath taking for me. We visited Botanical garden, Mines View park, Wright Park,The Mansion and Burnham park. Me and my youngest sister Bok (Kathlyn is her real name) walk around Session Road lately at around 7-9pm. We did some window shopping and pasalubong shopping in the Baguio Market too by the way. Sadly, it is not the Season of strawberries thats why we really find it hard to look for them. Meron naman kaya lang maliliit pa, yung iba nga nasisira na. Bok is a bit sad. Strawberries are her Kryptonite and all she got from the market lately are mini-mini strawberries, as in para lang masabing nakabili sya kahit papano. 

I cant say anything more, here are my pasalubong to my friends:

 

Ill try to blog again about our last day in Baguio tomorrow. For now, I'll let my self to have some decent sleep while enjoying the cold weather of the happiest place of my young heart and soul. 😍

GoodNight!

Ps: our condotel is Korean inspired. As in yung parang sa mga korea novela na condo na tirahan ng mga middle class citizens. Yung pag may tao sa labas, makikita mo sya dun sa parang intercom. 😊😆

Happy Niki 😊

June 19, 2016, 1:09 am

Hotel Henrico Kisad,

Baguio City

Benguet.

I am praying for you..

It is not a secret to you guys ( uhm, well its not if you are reading my blog since day 1 ) I am praying for that 'someone', I am praying and waiting for the right time, right things, right love and right man of course. 😍. Guilty as charge, I am one of those hindi kagandahan pero sobrang mapili. Pero sobra ba talaga?? Anyways, no-one's courting me at the moment. Hindi din naman kasi ako yung mga tipong ligawin, pag nga may nagpapalipad hangin sakin feeling ko naliligaw lang talaga sila ng landas! haha! Okay back on the topic, so as I was saying, I am praying and waiting. At the age of 20+, I still consider my self young and I shouldn't be worrying about having a boyfriend but, at somepoint I kinda feel pressure???

Again, its not a secret to you guys that I had been on a painful (ouch!) heartbreak. I invested so much feelings and all I got in the end is a broken heart. ☹️ That's way I promise myself that next time I will love someone, He will probably be my last. I dont wanna invest so much feelings and end up broken again. I wanted a more secure relationship. Yung tipong, kayang sakyan lahat moods ko na napakabilis magbago. hehe!  What I mean in 'secure' is, yung kayang panindigan na mahal ka, kayang suklian ang feelings/love (whatever they call it) na ibibigay mo, yung mahal ka nya dahil mahal ka nya hindi yung mahal ka nya kasi, sinasabi mo na mahal mo sya kaya dapat mahal ka din nya. (getching ba?) Yung taong lalaban kasama ka. Yung lagi mong ramdam na di ka mag-isa kasi,sa relatinship nyo hindi lang ikaw kasi kayong dalawa yon. hay.....

Masyado bang mahirap hanapin? Ang demanding ko ba? Ano ba kasing problema sakin??.☹️

Yes, I dont wanna rush things, sabi nga nila 'may tamang panahon para sa lahat ng bagay'. Believe me, I dont know why I feel pressured and worried at the same time. Im still young and I have all the time to enjoy my single life with my friends but deyyym, cant help it! Maybe one reason is that, I am surrounded by lovebirds! From the bus seats, foot bridge, fast food chains, facebook, IG, and twitter, lovers are everywhere! I mean, I love you here, I love you there, Yakap here, HHWW there, lambingan everywhere! My goodness! Sinong hindi mape-pressure pag buong mundo na yata ang pumi-pressure sayo??! This has been my life dillema this past few months, everytime I pray and give thanks to Lordie and St.Pio, I secretly ask them a little wish for myself. Like what I had said before, not everytime I pray, I asked something for myself. Most of the time, I pray to give thanks and wish/pray for my family, friends and to those someone I know who are in need of guidance. But since the day I realize about this so called 'dillema' I started to pray for the 'right' one.

 

Its been 1-2 months since I started to ask/wish ( tama ba ang term?..) Lordie and St. Pio. I am praying for the right one to come. (Alam mo yung feeling na G na G kana pero wala pa kasi talaga?) But still, I am willing to wait though masyado ko ng kinukulit talaga si Lord at St.Pio. Ayoko naman na sa kamamadali ko, eh, sa maling tao nanaman ako mapunta kasi nga, forever na sana ang gusto ko next time di ba? Kaya, pray-pray lang ako ng mabuti. hehe. 

Here's the real catch of this entry, I had a crush to someone. We'll I am very choosy, kahit gwapo pa yan,pag hindi ko gusto ng vibes nya, kahit sing bait yan ng lahat ng anghel sa langit, hindi ko parin gusto. But this man really got me straight to the heart. Wait, Heart?! Does it even possible to love someone who doesnt even know your existance?? Awww... my heart.... why???😭😭😭 huhuhu .. Yes, I am praying for that certain man, I am praying and waiting for answers. Answers to my prayers if he is the one I am waiting and praying for. Pero sana, sya nalang talaga.

PS: myloves,baby,babe ( that's how I address him whenever I saw him on twitter or I wanna tweet something for him, pero di ko sya minemention.) I know I am not the only one who's praying to be the one destined for you but I want you to know that, I am praying for you ☺️ , im waiting for you 😊, and my heart is ready..for you. 😍 ayiiiih. 😘 I may not know you personally and I may not know many thing about you, I am sure in one thing, I can take care of you, I can cook for you, I can laugh with you, I can cry with you, I can be crazy with you, I can love you. Just be happy with me and my heart is yours to keep. Foreves. ❤️ #FatedNM

-wishful Niki.. 😊