It should not! 101

*deep sigh*

Three years of being single is not a big deal. Well, it should not. At the moment, I can say that I am living the time of my life. A good Job, good friends, fancy clothes, gadgets and of course stronger faith. 

I am beyond happy and blessed. Aware naman ako na sobra sobra ang blessings sakin kaya hanggat maari ay sini-share ko. Lahat na yata ng mga bagay na dinasal ko at dinadasal ko, ibinigay na at binibigay ni Lord. Pero sabi nga ng isang rule sa economics, man can never be satisfied. Its was like, after having what you want, you will surely want to have more or if not, want to have something new. And I am a living proof. Yes, sobrang blessed ako na makuha lahat ng gusto ko ngayon. Sometimes, I am thinking of, ano pa nga ba ang gusto ko? Ano pa bang kulang? 

Everytime I pray, I always say thank you for everything kasi sobrang nakaka-overwhelm yung mga natatanggap ko. Siguro kasi hindi ako sanay na laging nakukuha ang gusto ko kaya ganon nalang talaga ako sobra nabibigla minsan, yung tipong today gusto ko ng bagong damit tapos kinabukasan nabili ko na yung damit, mga tipong ganon. Pero minsan, dumadating talaga ako dun sa point na, parang may kulang. Yung may gusto ako na wala pa ako.

Whenever I see an old friend na ka-age ko that already have their own family, I always feel something different. Inggit? I dont know. Its just so nakakainggit to see them caring a cute baby, having a family date and such. Minsan naiisip ko, ano kaya ang feeling? hayyyy...

Yes! I am ready to have that 'someone' in my life. Someone I can tell all my worries and angst in life, someone I can text I love yous, someone who can hold my hand, someone I can cry and laugh with, someone who can accept and love me true. That someone who will stay with me at my worse and whom I can give my best. That someone I can finally call mine... *sigh*

Just like what I had said on my previous entry, I am praying for a specific person. Ni hindi ko nga alam kung alam ba nyang nage-exist ako. Kelan ko nga lang din nalaman na inlove sya... sa iba! (sakit bhe!) Pero gaya ng sabi ko din, I dont want to rush things for I believe, right things will happen on their own perfect time and that is, in God's perfect time. And if that someone I am praying for is not the one for me, its okay. Because I know, there will be someone for me in the future. Someone who worth the wait.

Alam kong hindi ko kailangang magmadali. Hindi ko kailangang problemahin. At hindi ako dapat mainip. Mejo nakakalungkot lang at nakakainggit. I was surrounded by people who are so inlove . Lovers are all over my sight and that was just somehow frustrating. :( I admit, I dont find myself pretty. I dont even have that sexy body. Wala din ako ng tinatawag nilang appeal. PERO, I am a Degree holder. Sa ngayon yun lang naman ang meron ako. Mabait ako, hindi ako maarte, pinalaki ako ng tama ng parents ko, may tatlong side ako, si Niki na madaldal, si Niki na tahimik at si Niki na hindi ka gusto. Simpleng-simple lang talaga ako. I am living my life the way I want it to be. Hindi ko kailangang magkunwari para i-please ang ibang tao. At hindi talaga ako ligawin na tao. May pagka-judgemental din ako minsan at gusto kong i-work out ang ugali ko na yon. Dahil ako mismo naiinis don.

To that someone I am praying for, If ever you and the girl you love now will not work out, can you please... find me???.. 

尼科喜欢尼基 <3 b="">

hayyyy! so much for now. Tomorrow I'll try to post more. :) 

尼基塔美 :) 

June 27, 2016 12:24am