Its a typical thursday night. So many thoughts are crossing my mind lately and I cant understand why. What ifs, So whats, If ever, and so much more but what really bothers me is the thought of 'settling down' in the near future. How's that? Kinda weird for me because I'm only 22. Im supposed to enjoy my life and my starting career but I wonder why these thoughts are bothering me.
Who wouldn't want to settle down with someone who loves you? Care for you, respect you, and only see his future with you too?
From the first time I fell in-love, that was 2007? I think. puppy love as they say. Hindi naman kami tumagal non pero syempre umiyak ako kahit papano. I experienced my very first heartbreak from Aj. Our relationship lasted for 3 months I think, he broke up with me to have a second chance with his first love named Kathlyn. (Pero,ayun hindi din sila nag work!.tsk! tsk!..ano ka ngayon? chos!). My second heartbreak was just so.....funny?..hehehe..well I didn't cry that hard like I did when Aj and i broke up but,.maybe me and my ex named Bret just happened to be more likely on being friends than more than friends?...(di talaga ako sigurado pero,.magulo talaga..) he broke up with me when his mom offered him a new computer set in exchanged on breaking up with me. It happened that he love playing computer games than me so he did broke up with me.(huhuhu..why so rude?..charing!). The next heartbreak i had after Bret hit me so hard!. As in!. I cried a river, begged for a second chance, risk my life (oppps?..lalim?..d naman ganun ka literal pero ung stage na susugatan ko ung sarili ko..you know,.those kind of stuff..uso kasi un nun sa school pag broken hearted kaya,.nakikiuso ako..hehe)., i'll not mention a name na lang but this one had something to do with how David and I met. (ayiih! *insert sarcastic smirk here). I dont know why but I really fell inlove so hard with this one. As in!. sa kanya ako natuto ng PDA. HHWW, hug everywhere, anywhere, everytime!. (hus!.bata pa ko non wag nyo kong husgahan!.). Pero hindi naman kami masyadong nagtagal. On and Off pa nga kami nun eh,.pero syempre 'hit hard' nga eh.. whenever this someone comes back to me after breaking my heart,.I always give in. .mejo close to one year yata pero hindi naman un steady,ay naging iba pa nga sya. But nonetheless,. this one made me happy and feel love even though we didn't work that well. The best thing happened in this heartbreak is that, I got to know David.We become friends,.close friends. And eventually, fell in-love after that 'someone' broke my heart big time.! Then here comes David. The one who made my world stop when we're together. The one who made me cry in so much love and happiness, give everything and anything just to see me smile. The only person who loves me true (except sa parents at family ko at friends ko.), accept all my flaws, cry with me when im sad, comfort me when needed, laugh with me..fall inlove with me every single day of our relationship. And the best thing that David made me feel is that., He made me his world..his everything. I had mention David countless of times on my past entries. I even share some parts of our loves story specially the 'break up' part. So when you read this you probably know what happened between me and David,.why we didnt last.(kaya,.ladies and getlemen,.wag na natin ulitin ah?move on na tayo pwede?) (PS: Im david's first kiss, first dance, first hug pero d ako sure sa hug..hahaha..wala nasabi ko lang..) (I believe in the saying,. maging kayo man ngayon,.oh edi kayo na,.nauna parin ako!.haha..charooot!)
Edi ayon na nga., after four heartbreaks,. here I am,.single and not yet ready to fall inlove again. :) lamnyoyan!.. anyways,.before I started the 'story telling part' I am talking about the thoughts of 'settling down',.siguro youre thinking now,.'anong connect?'.. ganito nga kasi yon., Since the thoughts of settling down thingy keeps on bothering me this past few days,. naiisip ko tuloy,. sino nga kaya ung binigay na other half ko ni Lordie?..have I met him before?..does our path already cross?..I was wondering if... oh well, nevermind. And one more thing..hihihi..among my four past love,. there is 1 person who stands out that I once dreamed of myself walking down the aisle with him, exchanging I dos with him, delivering a heartfelt vow for him in our wedding day, wiping my tears of joy while listening to his vow, exchanging of rings, building dreams together, holding each others hand as we walk toward our happy-ever-after. *deep sigh* I only see all of these with David. :'(
But I know,. 'all of these' are not bound to happened for me with David. Because we're not meant to be. He's not the one that the Lord gave me to spend the rest of my life with. He would never be the one who will wait for me in the altar as I walk down the aisle. He's not the one who will give me the most heart melting vow. As much as I want too,. he will never be the one who will hold my hand and walk toward our Happy-ever-after and again,.its because David and I are not meant for each other. :(
the sad story teller,
Niki :'(
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