David is the kind of person you can share your secrets with. (tama ba?). As in bow head talaga ako kung ugali lang talaga ang pag uusapan. Ang bait lang kasi nya. Everything and anything.,basta kaya nya gagawin at ibibigay nya sakin man yan o sa kaibigan. Specially when he graduated from her two year course in college. He spoils me with everything and anything I want.,from material things, effort, and my favorite, his time. I couldnt ask for more. Sometimes, I will just find myself asking myself, ano bang ginawa kong maganda at binigay ni Lord sakin ang isang to?.. Whenever we had the chance to be together the whole day or basta kapag nagkita kami tapos kakain tapos kwentuhan,. he always ask me before we sleep at night the same question.. "happy ka ba?" ..and whenever he ask me this question,.again, I'll just find myself smiling and wondering,. what would my life be without David?.. Naiisip ko tuloy ngayon,. Did I made David happy too nung mga panahon na,. wala syang ginusto at ginawa kundi pasayahin ako?.. I wish I could turn back time so I can ask him too if im making him happy too..
Current mood: sad! :(
I dont know where it started.. Started things to fall apart., suddenly, all the sweet nothing turns into throwing of 'unecessary' words..all the 'i love yous' turn into 'hatreds' .. wonderful things turns into something we never think that will happen. Guilty as charge, I toke him for granted., everytime I feel neglected,. I would tell him 'lets just end this' ..at first he would say no,.but later on,.he gave in., Im selfish. But can you blame me?. Iniisip ko kasi,hindi naman nya kaya na mawala ako. Na babalik din sya.. (eh hindi na nga bumalik?.letche!)
*deep sigh* David fell inlove.... to someone else. It hurts but,. I cant do anything about that. I mean,. basta ayoko ng sumali pa. Pero... oo na!. I tried to win him back., I tried to beg him even more!. Un ung sinabi ko ung nga lines na 'ako nalang ulit', 'please ako nalang'.. oh my godnessgracious!. After he left me,. I tried to save myself from the heartache.. and I must say, I succeeded pero putik na yan!. Andun nako eh.,andun na..tapos nagparamdam ulit!..kaya ayun., all the walls i built around me broke down..and then again, ladies and gentlemen... I cried, I beg, I got hurt, got rejected all over again with the same reason. *sigh*.. (ang tanga no?)
The good thing is,. I know how to handle my feelings, emotions rather on the second time it happened. I cried but not as hard as I did the first time. I beg but not that super makaawa, got hurt but not that 'intense' , yes got rejected for the nth time but I didnt give a damn..hahaha!.kebs!.
Anyways,. Im trying my best to stop myself, Stop myself to reach out for David.. (sana magawa ko kahit isang bwan lang1.tapos dalawang bwan..tapos tatatluhin ko na..tas hanggang 1 year na,,please *cross fingers*)
Beibi., i will not forget the day you catch me after my heart got broken because of E.R.. and I will never regret the day I said yes to you. (kahit yun ung iniisip mo,na nag sisisi ako na sinagot kita..). Maybe someday you would find thid blog and read all my entries and I hope, when that day comes, you'll reach out again for me and ask me to be friends with you. Who knows?..I'll accept to offer. :)
listening to: Got to believe
feeling: weary.. :(
want: to party on twitter (pero walang signal sa officec..)
thinking: anong napapanaginipan ni David ngayon kung tulog na sya. at anong ginagawa nya kung gising pa sya.
David's ex-girlfriend ,
Beibi :)
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