And so i feel a bit sick today.,but i cant help to share what i feel now. This coming Christmas, our family is planning for a Family picture pictorial..( I am the one who suggested).. eh kasi nga ang tagal na nung formal family picture namin..at maliit lang yon.. Gusto ko this time malaki naman,,.hehehe.,And i also suggested that, we will be wearing red and they agreed naman., yesterday, mama called and said,.they already bought red shirts for the family picture.,at kagabe ko lang din naisip.,wala akong red na damit!.I tried to look for a red dress or shirt last night at eastwood mall but i cant find a red shirt or dress that would suit my taste.,that was just a major OMG!.. its december 22 today so i only got two days left to find something red to wear.,thats so sad on my part., :( ako ung nag suggest tapos ako ung walang damit., *wooooooh* (regine) hehehehehehe lagot!. Sa ngayon, yun lang dapat ang iniisip at pinoproblema ko pero, may isang tao talagang pilit pumapasok sa isip ko..
I really hate it when memories from the past keeps on flashing back. It bothers me. It bothers my heart big time!,. Yung feeling na kung may sakit ako, lalo yata ako magkakasakit pag naiisip ko.Kung nabasa mo na ung mga unang entry ko,.malamang sa hindi, alam mo na kung anong 'memories from the past' ang tinutukoy ko. hay nako!. I want a peaceful heart for Christmas Lordie..pretty please?..
NO flashback, NO what ifs, please..NOmore David!.. ung feeling na nasa process ka parin ng pag mo-move on after more than a year?.nakaka- HAY NAKO! talaga di ba?. ung tipong 'oo naka move on nako' or 'oo kaya,nasa process nako' pero makarinig lang ng 'tell me,.where did i go wrong?..what did i do to make you change your mind completely..' okaya naman., 'i can still remember yesterday, we we're so inlove in a special way,.and knowing that your love made me feel ..oh so right..'..ung 'i just cant compare you with,.anything in this world.,you are all i need to be here with forevermore.,' isa pa ung 'its true, i mean it..from the bottom of my heart ...yeah its true..without you I would fall..apart..'... at kung hindi lang sa ALDUB.,iiyak talaga ako kapag sinabayan ng flashback ung 'God gave me you..to show me what's real.. there's more to life than just how I feel..and all that i'm worth is right before my eyes..and all that I live for though I didnt know why..now i do..' pero syempre dahil Im a certified #AlDubFaney.,sila na ung naiisip ko pag naririnig ko yan ngayon..hahahahah..
So goin back..,oo ito na..si David nanaman yan..may iba pa ba?..kung habang binabasa mo ito naiinis ka kasi sya nanaman,.sasabihin ko naiinis din ako dahil sya nanaman ang laman ng isip ko at sya padin ang iniisip ko..ang hirap kasi i-explain ng buo at detailed ng buong kwento namin ni David.,ako nga minsan nagdududa na din kung tama pa ba ung naaalala ko kung ano at paano kami date.,minsan bigla nalang papasok sa isip ko ung mga ganto at ganyan ng nakaraan.,minsan din kahit ayaw ko i-share dito nas-share ko..good thing hindi ako famous o hindi famous ang isa sa mga kapatid ko o kahit sinong malapit sakin kaya may makabasa man nito konti lang din at malamang hindi pa ko kilala..
David and I loves music..ung mga tipong akakarelax pakinggan.,ung nakaka-anok minsan at ung meaningful ang lyrics., kaya nga ang daming songs ang na-dedicate ko sa kanya date like I Do by 98 degrees..(meaningful ito kasi,first dance namin to nung JS prom namin nung HS..3rd year ako 4th year sya..), God Gave Me You by Bryan White..(kasi..wala..minsan kinakanta kp sa kanya yan..kasi yata thats my way of saying..I thank God everyday because he gave me you..) I knew I love you by Savage Garden,,( kasi nung una ayaw ko talaga na maging kami kahit may feelings na talaga..naging kami din naman kasi wala..bumigay ang puso ko eh..yiih ang swet,,hahaha).. Nothings Gonna Stop Us Now by MYMP..(nasabi ko na ba na You and Me against the world ang peg ng love story namin?hahahaha).. Rainbow by South Borders (kasi binigyan nya ng kulay ang mundo ko?charot!.eh kasi when David is around.,life is just so..light..) .at syempre pa., 'Alipin' by shamrock..(corny man aminin..pero..theme song namin yan..at sya ang pumili..).. marami pang iba pero yung mga yan ang pinaka memorable sakin.. Ung favorite ko naman na dinedicate nya sakin is When you say nothing at all by Ronan Keating..I can still remeber that day he sang it to me.,un ung times na malabo na lahat saming dalawa.,tumawag sya sakin and that was between 6-7pm i think.,he sang and palyed the guitar while i listen on the other line of the call.,i just listened to him silently.,then after I asked him,.'kanino mo naman dinededicate yan?' and his answer was 'shhhh..kanino pa ba?' ..i smiled bitterly on his answer kasi.,iba na talaga ung pakiramdam ko non sa kanya.,but I didnt say anything..ang madalas ko lang kasing sabihin sa kanya non., 'bhie.pag may iba kana.sabihin mo agad ah?.iready mo ko..' yan ang lagi kong sinasabi sa knya., Because I know to myself..from the very start that David and I cant be together forever.,kahit ganu pa namin kamahal non ang isat isa.. *deep sigh*
tama na nga..next time nalang ulit.,mag-iisip pa ko kung saan ako makakabili ng pulang damit..
PS: bhie.,this is for you..
From the moment I met you I just knew you'd be mine
You touched my hand
And I knew that this was gonna be our time
I don't ever wanna lose this feeling
I don't wanna spend a moment apart
'Cos you bring out the best in me, like no-one else can do
That's why I'm by your side, and that's why I love you
Every day that I'm here with you
I know that it feels right
And I've just got to be near you every day and every night
And you know that we belong together
It just had to be you and me
'Cos you bring out the best in me, like no-one else can do
That's why I'm by your side, and that's why I love you
And you know that we belong together, It just had to be you and me
'Cos you bring out the best in me, like no-one else can do
That's why I'm by your side
'Cos you bring out the best in me, like no-one else can do
That's why I'm by your side, and that's why I love you
'Cos you bring out the best in me, like no-one else can do
That's why I'm by your side, and that's why I love you..
Best in Me by Blue
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