Random 1.02 10/08/16

Rare times:

1. I feel genuinely happy.
2. I feel complete.
3. I feel secured.
4. I feel loved.
5. I feel needed.
6. I feel fine.
7. I feel well rested.
8. I feel important.
9. I feel fulfilled.
10. I feel … wanted.

Mostly:

1. I feel sad.
2. I am hurt.
3. I want to cry.
4. I want to go away.
5. I want to be alone.
6. I want silence.
7. I want to feel loved.
8. I want to be hug.
9. I want to feel secured.
10. I want to give in and sulk in loneliness.
11. I want to sleep so I won’t feel sad, hurt and lonely.
12. I feel the need to have someone where I can tell every single pain I am hiding.
13. I think of running away and never come back.

I wish:

1. To be happy.
2. To be love deeply.
3. To be accepted for whom I am really.
4. To have more love.
5. To be the most important person to someone.
6. I could just be me… all the time.

Someday:

1. All this pain would be ease.
2. I will be happy.. for real.
3. I can runaway and I will not hesitate anymore.
4. I will feel that I am worth to love, to cherish and to keep.
5. I will be free from hurt
6. There will be someone who will hold my hand and never let go of me no matter how hard it is to love me and no matter what the world will say.

Someday, I will not cry alone anymore. Because there will be someone who will cry with me when I am in pain. No matter how hard life can get, I will still be holding on to what the future will offer. It may not be now, but soon I know, everything will fall on their proper places and I will be happy. I will be free from pain and sadness.

Sobrang random ban g entry?? Wala feel ko lang talaga..

-Niki

Right time, Right Love, and the Right one

Hashtag : Happy Tummy :)  (Busog na me.. hehe..burrrp.. )Pwede nakong mag blog. 

I wanna make this confession. Hindi ko alam kung masyado lang ba akong nagde-deny sa sarili ko o ano.Well ganito kasi yon, this coming October, I will be turning 23. Hindi pa naman ako ganun katanda pero alam ko ding hindi nako ganon kabata! Like what I had said in my older posts, I am praying for this someone. As in my specific person talaga akong hinihiling kay Lord everytime I pray, hindi ko talaga nakakaligtaan banggitin iyon pero minsan nare-realize ko na, parang G na G naman akong magka-lovelife. *sigh..

Alam mo ba yung feeling na, nabibili mo lahat ng gusto mo, nakakapunta ka sa kung saan mo gustong pumunta, magandang trabaho (kahit nakakastress), tapos sobrang blessed mo sa mga taong nakapaligid sayo. Alam mo ba yon? Kasi ako oo, kasi ako yon eh. Kaya lang parang may kulang parin. L

Minsan naiisip ko, sana pala hindi nalang ako nag-move on, edi sana hindi ako atat na atat mag boyfriend ngayon! Hahaha! Chos! Pero syempre thankful naman ako na naka-move on na ako sa past major heartbreak ko. At gaya parin ng sinabi ko date, gaano ko man kagusto na alam nyo na, I still want to wait for the right time. Kung hindi pa iyon ngayon then, its fine. Though I really want it asap, I will still choose to wait for God’s perfect time. 

Me be like:  Right time, Right Love, and the Right one.

PS: myLoves,. magtweet ka naman ng madalas! hahaha

#FatedNicNiks

Thought-Ful,

Niki :)

I am praying for you..

It is not a secret to you guys ( uhm, well its not if you are reading my blog since day 1 ) I am praying for that 'someone', I am praying and waiting for the right time, right things, right love and right man of course. 😍. Guilty as charge, I am one of those hindi kagandahan pero sobrang mapili. Pero sobra ba talaga?? Anyways, no-one's courting me at the moment. Hindi din naman kasi ako yung mga tipong ligawin, pag nga may nagpapalipad hangin sakin feeling ko naliligaw lang talaga sila ng landas! haha! Okay back on the topic, so as I was saying, I am praying and waiting. At the age of 20+, I still consider my self young and I shouldn't be worrying about having a boyfriend but, at somepoint I kinda feel pressure???

Again, its not a secret to you guys that I had been on a painful (ouch!) heartbreak. I invested so much feelings and all I got in the end is a broken heart. ☹️ That's way I promise myself that next time I will love someone, He will probably be my last. I dont wanna invest so much feelings and end up broken again. I wanted a more secure relationship. Yung tipong, kayang sakyan lahat moods ko na napakabilis magbago. hehe!  What I mean in 'secure' is, yung kayang panindigan na mahal ka, kayang suklian ang feelings/love (whatever they call it) na ibibigay mo, yung mahal ka nya dahil mahal ka nya hindi yung mahal ka nya kasi, sinasabi mo na mahal mo sya kaya dapat mahal ka din nya. (getching ba?) Yung taong lalaban kasama ka. Yung lagi mong ramdam na di ka mag-isa kasi,sa relatinship nyo hindi lang ikaw kasi kayong dalawa yon. hay.....

Masyado bang mahirap hanapin? Ang demanding ko ba? Ano ba kasing problema sakin??.☹️

Yes, I dont wanna rush things, sabi nga nila 'may tamang panahon para sa lahat ng bagay'. Believe me, I dont know why I feel pressured and worried at the same time. Im still young and I have all the time to enjoy my single life with my friends but deyyym, cant help it! Maybe one reason is that, I am surrounded by lovebirds! From the bus seats, foot bridge, fast food chains, facebook, IG, and twitter, lovers are everywhere! I mean, I love you here, I love you there, Yakap here, HHWW there, lambingan everywhere! My goodness! Sinong hindi mape-pressure pag buong mundo na yata ang pumi-pressure sayo??! This has been my life dillema this past few months, everytime I pray and give thanks to Lordie and St.Pio, I secretly ask them a little wish for myself. Like what I had said before, not everytime I pray, I asked something for myself. Most of the time, I pray to give thanks and wish/pray for my family, friends and to those someone I know who are in need of guidance. But since the day I realize about this so called 'dillema' I started to pray for the 'right' one.

 

Its been 1-2 months since I started to ask/wish ( tama ba ang term?..) Lordie and St. Pio. I am praying for the right one to come. (Alam mo yung feeling na G na G kana pero wala pa kasi talaga?) But still, I am willing to wait though masyado ko ng kinukulit talaga si Lord at St.Pio. Ayoko naman na sa kamamadali ko, eh, sa maling tao nanaman ako mapunta kasi nga, forever na sana ang gusto ko next time di ba? Kaya, pray-pray lang ako ng mabuti. hehe. 

Here's the real catch of this entry, I had a crush to someone. We'll I am very choosy, kahit gwapo pa yan,pag hindi ko gusto ng vibes nya, kahit sing bait yan ng lahat ng anghel sa langit, hindi ko parin gusto. But this man really got me straight to the heart. Wait, Heart?! Does it even possible to love someone who doesnt even know your existance?? Awww... my heart.... why???😭😭😭 huhuhu .. Yes, I am praying for that certain man, I am praying and waiting for answers. Answers to my prayers if he is the one I am waiting and praying for. Pero sana, sya nalang talaga.

PS: myloves,baby,babe ( that's how I address him whenever I saw him on twitter or I wanna tweet something for him, pero di ko sya minemention.) I know I am not the only one who's praying to be the one destined for you but I want you to know that, I am praying for you ☺️ , im waiting for you 😊, and my heart is ready..for you. 😍 ayiiiih. 😘 I may not know you personally and I may not know many thing about you, I am sure in one thing, I can take care of you, I can cook for you, I can laugh with you, I can cry with you, I can be crazy with you, I can love you. Just be happy with me and my heart is yours to keep. Foreves. ❤️ #FatedNM

-wishful Niki.. 😊