Colour Everywhere

                                                  "Colour Everywhere"

used to seeing black and white

never really in between

waiting for the love of my life

to come into my dreams

everything is shades of gray

never really blues or green

needed someone else to turn to

someone who could help me learn to see

all the beauty that was waiting for me

you, you put the blue back in the sky

you put the rainbow in my eyes

a silver lining in my prayers

and now there’s colour everywhere

you put the red back in the rule

just when i needed it the most

you came along to show you care

and now there’s colour everywhere

everywhere

my life is so predictable

never any mystery

but ever since you shined the light

all of that was history

now i have a hand to hold

and a reason to believe

there’s someone in my life worth living for

i was hanging around just wishing on a star

to put the happines back in my heart and…

you, you put the blue back in the sky

you put the rainbow in my eyes

a silver lining in my prayers

and now there’s colour everywhere

you put the red back in the rule

just when i needed it the most

you came along to show you care

and now there’s colour everywhere

oh yeah…

you care and now there’s colour everywhere

left those hazy days behind me

never to return again

now they’re just a fading memory

coz baby it’s all so clear to see

the beauty that is waiting there for me

you, you put the blue back in the sky

you put the rainbow in my eyes

a silver lining in my prayers

and now there’s colour everywhere

you put the red back in the rule

just when i needed it the most

you came along to show you care

and now there’s colour everywhere

a silver lining in my prayers

and now there’s colour everywhere

you came along to show you care

and now there’s colour everywhere

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

Wonderful 2015.. :")

And so its December 27 today and we only got 4 days left for 2015. I may say, 2015 gave me so much to remember. One of these so 'much' is, God set 2015 as the perfect time for me to receive my College Diploma (kahit hanggang ngayon hindi ko pa nakikita ang diploma ko na yon dahil walang time.,pero sure akong meron ako nun nasa schooll..:) ) Got employed 3 days after graduation,(ehem!..you heard it right..3 days after graduation..hahaha #yabang), and, maybe 2015 made me learned things the hard way but i can say that, its all worth it (kinaya ko naman ng bongga.). Things like, moving on, forgiving, sharing (yes, sharing because im kinda madamot during my younger years and being madamot is not not good for grown ups.), and of course, the most important lesson that 2015 taught me is, building back my Faith in Him. (thanks for accepting me back Lordie!..happy kid here!).

As I was saying, 2015 gave me so much to be thankful for that's why I didn't ask or wish for anything last Christmas Day., I just prayed to say thank you for everything that God had gave me, big or small, good or bad I count them all as a blessing from above. For bad things or 'negative vibes' just made me a stronger and a better person. And now that 2016 is fast approaching, I still cant think of something to wish for myself.

Every time I light a candle at St.Padre Pio of Pietrelcina Chapel I always pray for my family and friends.. I light four candles every time i visit there.. the first one is for my family, the second one is for my beloved friends, the third one is for myself(its my way of saying thank you for showering me with unexpected blessings..big or small, they are all highly appreciated..) and the fourth one is for the two people whom i wish to find love and contentment with each other,if not now.,in the near future after they both fulfill their own dreams.

Anyways, this entry will be my last entry for 2015 though I will be posting three entries today. hehehe..

Hope you had a wonderful Christmas and will have a Bountiful New Year!.

Let us all welcome 2016 with a happy heart and bid goodbye to 2015 with a thankful smile.. 

:) Cheers to all of us Earthlings!..

Thank you for the 12 wonderful months 2015!.. Cheeeerrssssssss!!!!.. :)

truly Blessed Beyond Belief,

Nikita Mae :)

Christmas 2015.. :)

Like the usual, my family had a simple celebration for Christmas eve last December 24 in our humble home in Pampanga. I'm working in a private company in Eastwood City so i have to travel more or less two hours to get home. I checked out 6:30 pm in the office and luckily, got home at 8:45 pm. Its our first time to celebrate Christmas with my niece, baby Meng that's why we are all excited but knowing babies, they will just sleep peacefully at a cold silent night just like Baby Meng did. She just slept and we all don't have a heart to wake her up from her peaceful sleep.

I didn't get in time to attend the Christmas eve mass and that's just so sad so im aiming to attend New Year's eve mass on December 31. I will be staying here in manila on New year's eve and its my first time to celebrate it away from my family so I cant promise not to cry.(hehe) Going back, so after Christmas Eve, we spend half of the day of Christmas walking..tradisyon namin yon every year to pay respect sa mga relatives by dropping by to their respective abodes. When me and my sibling were still young, yun ang favorite naming part ng pasko..un kasi ung NAMAMASKO PO!!! hahahahaha..nakakainis lang nga date eh,kasi naman ako ung pinaka konte pag nagpaparamihan kaming apat!.ang dami nilang mga ninong at ninang samantalang ako isa lang ang consistent.. si Ninong Elmer..:) every year yon na walang palya ang aguinaldo nya sakin!.hahahahaha.,sya lang dahil wala ang iba.,ang alam ko apat sila eh..si ninong Elmer, Ninong Michael, Ninang Julie at tita Eden..tita Eden is my Dad's sister at nasa japan sya kaya keri lang..bawing bawi naman sya, she sent me an iPad mini retina display version as a gift for my 20th birthday and it was the best gift ever that she gave me!. (woooooh! *regine). 

Came 3pm,.we decided to go to the mall to have some bonding time as a family,.we all wore red (though different shade of red,red parin naman). As I promised, i bought Dad shoes as my christmas gift for him then after we had our family picture taken at Colorado Studio.,we really enjoy the whole session, for our family grew a little bit bigger in the addition on Kuya Von (ate's husband) and baby Meng of course,our family's latest addiction.,hahaha!. Me and my sisters kept on laughing while scanning the shots and choose the best ones.,all in all we decided to take the best 21 shots and im so excited to see the pictures when i got home tomorrow night. hehehehehe..

And after that,me and my younger sister Bok (her name is Kathlyn Ann but we fondly call her Bok or Gold) so yun nga.,nagpaiwan kaming dalawa sa mall since late na din that time at may kasama kaming baby kaya kailangan na nilang umuwi!.masama sa baby ang byahe sa gabi! charot!..hahahahaha..kidding aside,.masama naman talaga di ba?,,hehehe eh kasi naman siguradong hindi nila gugustuhing pumila ng matagal para lang manood ng sine.,at dahil fangirl din ang kapatid ko,.siguradong maiintindihan nya ko..hahahaha so ayun nga nanood kaming dalawa ng 'My Bebe Love #KiligPaMore' Juice colored!..kilig overload!.dami kung tili, dami kung tawa, nag uumapaw sa kilig!..hahahahahaha..porgida wala pa kong boses nun dahil minamalat ako dahil sa ubo..hay!.ang hirap maka move on kay Maine at Alden!.. so yun na..after watching movie,.we went to Bench to buy late gifts for my friends. Then uwi na dahil nagpa-panic na si mother earth..9pm na kasi yon at hinahanap na daw kami ni daddy yow naming mahal.. :) ( when the daddy's girls are not around,.panic mode si mamami..)

And that ends our celebration of Christmas 2015.. :) i'll share some of our family picture pag nakita ko na..hehehehehehe..

Greeting you a Happy New Year in advance,

-Nikita the lucky charm :)

What if...

This past few days,.there is this errr..what should i call itba?..(tagalog time!!.. :D ) Di ko alam ah..pero everytime na tambay ang isip ko dahil walang magawa bigla ko itong maiisip,.actually, I already told my bestfriend about this last night while we are having a night walk. Here it goes.,

What if you woke up one day and your parents told you that you're not theirs? Tapos may dadating na magsasabing anak ka nya?.Iiyak ka ba?.wil you get angry or what?..naisip ko lang,paano kung mangyari sakin yon?..i will surely get upset. I'll cry a river then ...ugh!. hindi ko din alam ang gagawin. Just like my bestfriend. I asked her what will she do if she got on the situation like that. Hindi din nya alam kung ano ang gagawin at paano mag-re-react. Syempre di ba?. In your more than 20 years of existance kinikilala mong magulang ay ang mga nagpalaki sayo at nag-alaga tapos bigla isang araw sasabihin nilang hindi ka nila anak at guso ka ng bawiin ng totoo mong mga magulang. Ang saklap na nakakaiyak di ba?. Per what if?..what if totoong mangyari yon?.

-Nikita :)

Untitled.. #owmyheart

And so i feel a bit sick today.,but i cant help to share what i feel now. This coming Christmas, our family is planning for a Family picture pictorial..( I am the one who suggested).. eh kasi nga ang tagal na nung formal family picture namin..at maliit lang yon.. Gusto ko this time malaki naman,,.hehehe.,And i also suggested that, we will be wearing red and they agreed naman., yesterday, mama called and said,.they already bought red shirts for the family picture.,at kagabe ko lang din naisip.,wala akong red na damit!.I tried to look for a red dress or shirt last night at eastwood mall but i cant find a red shirt or dress that would suit my taste.,that was just a major OMG!.. its december 22 today so i only got two days left to find something red to wear.,thats so sad on my part., :( ako ung nag suggest tapos ako ung walang damit., *wooooooh* (regine) hehehehehehe lagot!. Sa ngayon, yun lang dapat ang iniisip at pinoproblema ko pero, may isang tao talagang pilit pumapasok sa isip ko..

I really hate it when memories from the past keeps on flashing back. It bothers me. It bothers my heart big time!,. Yung feeling na kung may sakit ako, lalo yata ako magkakasakit pag naiisip ko.Kung nabasa mo na ung mga unang entry ko,.malamang sa hindi, alam mo na kung anong 'memories from the past' ang tinutukoy ko. hay nako!. I want a peaceful heart for Christmas Lordie..pretty please?..

NO flashback, NO what ifs, please..NOmore David!.. ung feeling na nasa process ka parin ng pag mo-move on after more than a year?.nakaka- HAY NAKO! talaga di ba?. ung tipong 'oo naka move on nako' or 'oo kaya,nasa process nako' pero makarinig lang ng 'tell me,.where did i go wrong?..what did i do to make you change your mind completely..' okaya naman., 'i can still remember yesterday, we we're so inlove in a special way,.and knowing that your love made me feel ..oh so right..'..ung 'i just cant compare you with,.anything in this world.,you are all i need to be here with forevermore.,' isa pa ung 'its true, i mean it..from the bottom of my heart ...yeah its true..without you I would fall..apart..'... at kung hindi lang sa ALDUB.,iiyak talaga ako kapag sinabayan ng flashback ung 'God gave me you..to show me what's real.. there's more to life than just how I feel..and all that i'm worth is right before my eyes..and all that I live for though I didnt know why..now i do..' pero syempre dahil Im a certified #AlDubFaney.,sila na ung naiisip ko pag naririnig ko yan ngayon..hahahahah..

So goin back..,oo ito na..si David nanaman yan..may iba pa ba?..kung habang binabasa mo ito naiinis ka kasi sya nanaman,.sasabihin ko naiinis din ako dahil sya nanaman ang laman ng isip ko at sya padin ang iniisip ko..ang hirap kasi i-explain ng buo at detailed ng buong kwento namin ni David.,ako nga minsan nagdududa na din kung tama pa ba ung naaalala ko kung ano at paano kami date.,minsan bigla nalang papasok sa isip ko ung mga ganto at ganyan ng nakaraan.,minsan din kahit ayaw ko i-share dito nas-share ko..good thing hindi ako famous o hindi famous ang isa sa mga kapatid ko o kahit sinong malapit sakin kaya may makabasa man nito konti lang din at malamang hindi pa ko kilala..

David and I loves music..ung mga tipong akakarelax pakinggan.,ung nakaka-anok minsan at ung meaningful ang lyrics., kaya nga ang daming songs ang na-dedicate ko sa kanya date like I Do by 98 degrees..(meaningful ito kasi,first dance namin to nung JS prom namin nung HS..3rd year ako 4th year sya..), God Gave Me You by Bryan White..(kasi..wala..minsan kinakanta kp sa kanya yan..kasi yata thats my way of saying..I thank God everyday because he gave me you..) I knew I love you by Savage Garden,,( kasi nung una ayaw ko talaga na maging kami kahit may feelings na talaga..naging kami din naman kasi wala..bumigay ang puso ko eh..yiih ang swet,,hahaha).. Nothings Gonna Stop Us Now by MYMP..(nasabi ko na ba na You and Me against the world ang peg ng love story namin?hahahaha).. Rainbow by South Borders (kasi binigyan nya ng kulay ang mundo ko?charot!.eh kasi when David is around.,life is just so..light..) .at syempre pa., 'Alipin' by shamrock..(corny man aminin..pero..theme song namin yan..at sya ang pumili..).. marami pang iba pero yung mga yan ang pinaka memorable sakin.. Ung favorite ko naman na dinedicate nya sakin is When you say nothing at all by Ronan Keating..I can still remeber that day he sang it to me.,un ung times na malabo na lahat saming dalawa.,tumawag sya sakin and that was between 6-7pm i think.,he sang and palyed the guitar while i listen on the other line of the call.,i just listened to him silently.,then after I asked him,.'kanino mo naman dinededicate yan?' and his answer was 'shhhh..kanino pa ba?' ..i smiled bitterly on his answer kasi.,iba na talaga ung pakiramdam ko non sa kanya.,but I didnt say anything..ang madalas ko lang kasing sabihin sa kanya non., 'bhie.pag may iba kana.sabihin mo agad ah?.iready mo ko..' yan ang lagi kong sinasabi sa knya., Because I know to myself..from the very start that David and I cant be together forever.,kahit ganu pa namin kamahal non ang isat isa.. *deep sigh*

tama na nga..next time nalang ulit.,mag-iisip pa ko kung saan ako makakabili ng pulang damit..

PS: bhie.,this is for you..

From the moment I met you I just knew you'd be mine

You touched my hand

And I knew that this was gonna be our time

I don't ever wanna lose this feeling

I don't wanna spend a moment apart 

'Cos you bring out the best in me, like no-one else can do

That's why I'm by your side, and that's why I love you 

Every day that I'm here with you

I know that it feels right

And I've just got to be near you every day and every night

And you know that we belong together

It just had to be you and me 

'Cos you bring out the best in me, like no-one else can do

That's why I'm by your side, and that's why I love you

And you know that we belong together, It just had to be you and me 

'Cos you bring out the best in me, like no-one else can do

That's why I'm by your side

'Cos you bring out the best in me, like no-one else can do

That's why I'm by your side, and that's why I love you

'Cos you bring out the best in me, like no-one else can do

That's why I'm by your side, and that's why I love you..

Best in Me by Blue

niki.. :)

truly, madly, deeply, thinking of David..

That awkward moment na.,andun na,suot mo na,.pero hindi pala para sayo ung korona?..Parang kayo ng ex mo,.akala mo sya na.,akala mo kayo na talaga pero iniwan ka parin nya nung nakakita sya ng iba. (lintek bat sinusulat ko to?!) Masaket di ba?..

Dahil malapit na ang pasko (kahit hindi ko ramdam.,) pagbigyan nyo na kong mag tagalog all over,.gusto ko nga sana kapampangan eh,,(neng eyu naman siguradu aintindyan.!) hehehehe..proud Cabalen here..

Anyways,.i just wanna share what i feel right at this moment,.bukod sa hindi ko ramdam ang pasko., last year,.sa ganitong panahon,.nagyayayaan kaming mamasyal sa mall ng mga kapatid ko,tapos te-text namin si Daddy tapos pupuntahan nya kame sa mall tapos lilibre nya kami sa Jollibee..(wiiiihh!!..Bida ang saya1.proud to be laking Jollibee kaming apat na magkakapatid,,hehe..love ko 'to ko ang AlDub pero hindi ko mapagpalit si Jabee sa mcdo..pero,.#2 naman sya sa favorite namen..) so yun nga..pero ngayon,.heto,nakaupo sa office.,kayod-kayod din pag may time para sa ekonomiya!.hehe,,December 24 pa uwi ko,6pm after work (umabot sana talaga sa Xmass eve mass dahil papa-thanksgiving si Mamami yow ko.. (yun ung sasabihin sa mass ung Family name nyo.).. :( oww i miss home..

TRUE DILEMMA:

icha-chat ko ba si David o de-deadmahin ko si David?.. Ite-text ko ba si David o Hindi ko ite-text si David?.. laking problema ba nito o laking tanga ko lang talaga dahil iniisip ko pa sya eh ang saya saya na man na nya yata.. hayyy.. (*insert deep buntong hininga here with sad face..) bat ko ba kasi pinoproblema?..as a matter of fact this will be the 2nd Christmas that we are not together anymore..from 2009 to 2013,.even we are not physically together because we celebrate Christmas with our own families.,we still made sure that,.we celebrate it with so much love for each other,.during Christmas, we exchange text messages (sweet nothings..hehe) the whole day,phone calls from time to time,. (*insert buntong hininga here*..) nakakamiss yung feeling na ganon.,last year,.like the usual,I celebrated Chirstmas with my family,.happy naman,.galit ako kay David non,.5 months palang nun after nya ko iwan.,kaya hindi ko sya masyadong iniisip non or should I say, hindi ko talaga sya inisip non,.those were the times that I am trying to fix myself for the better.. Stronger than before,. What happened between me and David causes so much pain..too much that I once wish to die just to get rid of everything.,ung tipong sana ganto, sana ganyan., fortunately,after crying a river, listening to 'Right here waiting' ( by Jay-r and Kris Lawrence ) everyday a countless of times, hurting myself by reading his last text messages, posting bitter punch lines on facebook, huh!..finally,.i made it to the hardest part of break up,.and that is MOVING ON (bold Caps Lock para intense!.ramdam mo ba?).. Though it takes me 5 months to made it on this stage, still im thankful,. I worked on that, i prayed hard. So I started my life all over again,.I focused on my studies (feasibility days..).,Im fine with my life till days before my graduation day., Though at first,. I acted like its just nothing,.di ko din alam kung ganun talaga ung naramdaman ko o pinilit ko lang sa sarili ko na yun ang dapat kong maramdaman., That was an ordinary day and me and my friends are too lazy to go to school and spend the whole day for our graduation requirements so I choose to stay at home., Wala akong load non at may nagtext sakin (cant remember kung sino yon pero friend ko sya..) and ask me to answer her via chat (messenger) on fb.,it was my first time to open my FB account that day because i spend my time cuddling with my babies (teddybears) on my bed.,there are 3 people appear on the chat heads,.the first one is our Class GC (group chat), second is from my favorite writter on Wattpad (FGW) and the third one ....is David. 

My first reaction was like.. "OMG!" pero sandali lang yon..mga 5 seconds..i rushed to my room and locked the door..ba malay ko ba bat ginawa ko yon..pero dun ko kasi gusto basahin yung laman ng chat nya.. It was a congratulation message for my graduation,,he said im so proud of you, alam ko kaya mo yan kahit wala ako, congrats sa graduation and sorry sa lahat,.blah blah blah..things like that.,is-share ko sana kaya lang nabura ko na ung chat history namin.,( note: hindi kami friends sa fb ever since kahit nung kami pa..and believe it or not..ni minsan hindi ko sinilip man lang ang profile niya sa fb.,i dont know why but,i think its my own way of avoiding things that will hurt me.. pero.. note #2..hahaha..one of our common friends(oh i so love this two..kung pwede lang sabihin ang name,,) told me that David keeps himself updated on what is happening to me by stalking (oo stalking!.haha) on my Facebook account.,nung nalaman ko yon,.i made sure that every status i post will be seen in public.,date kase naka-private yon at friends ko lang sa fb ang may karapatan makakita.,but then again,i let my FB status/post be on public..mabait ako eh,ayaw kong mahirapan syang mag spy..hiyang hiya ako sa kanya..lintek na yan!) so where are we na nga?..ah oo,.so yun nga nag message sya sakin sa messenger.,at dahil mabait naman ako at di na naman ako masyadong bitter that time,.sinagot ko sya ng "sana naman ni-like mo na din ung picture ko para nagkasaysay naman ang pag-s-stalk mo sa fb ko db?." yan ang sinabi ko sa kanya then i also said thank you sa pag congratulate sakin.,he didnt reply that time after i send my reply on chat., I thought wala na.,yun lang talaga.but then again,.earlier that night.,6pm un.,nasa room ko ako at nag bo-bonding ni wattpad,.busy'ng busy pa ko non when my cellphone interups me..(asar!)..may nagtext na unknown number saying "hi"..sa lahat ng ayaw ko eh ung mga ganon na texter.,pwede naman kasing "hi.si ano nga pala to.."- ung ganon..para hindi ko na tatanungin ng 'who you'..di ba?..nagreply naman ako ng "who's this?" yarin lang na may kutob na kasi ako kung sino yon.. then ang reply nya is., "just look at the last digits of your cellphone number,you will know kung sino ako.."-yan ang sinabi nya pero hindi exactly ung mga words.,kung di ako marunong mag english,mas naman sya..kating kati nga akong icorrect sya pero i dont bother nalang., so tama nga ang hinala ko,. i replied.. "hell! David!" pero syempre ung totoong pangalan nya ang sinabi ko dun sa reply ko..at oo,.ung last 4 digits ang cellphone ko ay mabubuo ang pangalan nya.,at oo na!.hindi pa ko nagpapalit ng cellphone number!..pero may valid reason ako wag nyo kong husgahan!.hahahahaha..edi yun na nga.,his next reply was 'call kita,paload lang ako sandali." pero hindi ko agad nabasa yon dahil nga busy me kay wattpad.,mga 10 minutes na bago ko nabasa and i immediately reply him with 'wag!' pero ang reply nya is "wala na nagpaload nako."- it was like he was saying wala nakong choice kasi tatawag sya..,edi yun nga.,tumawag..at first hindi ko gusto sagutin pero syampre,dahil mabait ako,.at ayoko ng may pinaghihintay,.sinagot ko din ang tawag nya.,hearing his voice after the painful 5-6 moths,.(di na kasi masyadong masakit nung mga times na nag chat sya,,).i was so speechless..it was like,.why the hell i am talking to him after what he did?..pero nagsalita din ako..so there we talked,.catch up on the things that happened after we separate ways or rather,.after he left me..we talked for hours,. from 6pm-1:30 am ..as in non-stop..(ganun nya ko kamiss! etchos!)..but kidding aside.,we really talked from 6pm - 1:30 in the morning.,walang sumbatan,.walang kahit ano..basta catch up catch up lang.,tawanan ganern,,he even told me about this 'someone'..ung nakilala nya daw sa COC..(.pagbigyan nyo ko..isa lang pls...isa lang..ito na.. 'tangina nya!!!') they were together for i think two months or so,.pero sandali lang yon.,at ang nakakagulat pa.,ung time na yon na magkausap kame,.he's brokenhearted.,lately ko lang nalaman na "third party' pala sya dun sa someone at sa loveone nun.. (paano ko nalaman?.sinabi mismo ni 'someone' sakin..hahaha next time ko na kwento ung part na yon..) So itong si someone at yung bf nya.,nagkalabuan.,that's the time na nakilala nya si David.,wanna know what's ironic?..nagkakilala sila ng 14,naging sila ng 28.. easy to get eh?..but after two months or so,.mas pinili parin ni someone ung bf nya over David., that's the reason why David is broken hearted nung kausap ko sya sa phone.,after non..everyday magka-chat kame.,text din minsan..until one day i realized.,its still him,,and that is a major EPIC fail buset!!!..

The bottom line of this entry is., I miss David.,hindi ka kasi kami magka-chat or magkatext or what..basta!..I know that David will never know about this blog at wala akong balak sabihin sa kanya..kasi kalat na kalat dito ang ibang parts ng break up at love story namen..hehehehehe.

PS: Merry Christmas David!..i miss you mhine.. . . :(

('mhineqoh' is our original endearment,.though before we also used, bhie,beibi,bhe,honey,mahal and the likes..)

Yours truly, madly, deeply, thinking of David,

Niki :)

Six Days Before Pasko..

Six days before Christmas. So many things to do but here I am, wala pa ni isang nagawa.. (insert deep sigh here). Nakaka-shumad kasi!.Six days before Christmas pero parang 6 months before christmas ang peg ng panahon sa labas!. Kasalanan ni Nona at Onyok yan.,imbes na November eh, December pa naisipan mag grand entrance sa PAR. hay nako!.  #sentimientodeasukal

So December as they always say is the season of giving.,pero bakit kay mama every 15 days ang season of giving ko sa kanya?(hahahaha.. charot!.) I have so many plans this coming christmas at sa palagay ko ay 15% lang ang kakayanin kong matupad. Ung natitirang 85% ay baka January ko na magagawa..here, I'll share some of my things to do for Christmas:

1. Buy clothes for little sister. (pero syempre bibigay ko nalang ung pambili at sya na nag bibili dahil hindi kami magka-taste sa damit..ung tipong gusto ko dress ang isuot nya sa pasko pero sya pants na my punit ang gusto.!)

2. Buy shoes for dadadi..(promise ko sa kanya yon since im a spoiled daughter lalo na nung college,i wanna spoil dad too ngayong nagwo-work nako.,unfortunately, sa january ko na sya mabibili ng shoes na gusto nya.,dahil napaka mahal nung bet nya., :( so for christmas, kisses and hugs na muna for you daddy loves! mwuahugs....)

3. Buy something for mamami.,(kahit di kami super dikit ni momsie.,syempre hindi pwedeng wala akong plano para sa kanya.,haha..i love my nanay so much,.though sinabi ko sa kanyang hindi ko muna sya bibigyan sa sahod dahil marami akong gastusin sa pasko.but then again,sa January ko na un gagawin.promise yan!.)

4. Buy couple shirt for my superman and his Lois Lane..(my pagka-hopeless romantic ang mamami yow kong tunay kaya i asked my younger sister to buy them couple shirt na red color.,pink sana kaso baka hindi isuot ni dadadi yow kong tunay.,syempre dahil ako may plano,.charge ulit sakin un..sana marunong magtipid ang kapatid ko. (*cross fingers*) 

5. Family Picture. (ang shugal na nung huli naming family picture!.first year college pa yata aketch nun eh..kaya hopefully,.before new year,magka family picture kami ulit at ipu-push ko talaga yon!.at syempre,.i told them to wear something red.,bat ako lagi nasusunod?.syempre ako magbabayad no!.omg..tipid mode.hahaha.isa pa.we have two addition in the family, kuya Von (my ate's hubby) and of course,.Baby Meng.,ang maganda kong pamangkin na loves na loves namin..)

6. Watch Movie. naku ito ang hinding hindi ko paaabutin ng January kahit mag-isa akong manood!. (My Bebe Love! wait for me!) haha.. #ALDUB fanatic here..

7. Buy gifts for my inaanaks!.omg ang dami nila!.

8. Buy food for Noche Buena..(eh I want something new this year.,gusto ko marami.,ung bonggang handa na very very light!.Thanks giving na din kasi yon sa lahat ng blessings na dumating samin this year.,for i consider 2015 as the best year for me so far., from my Diploma to my new career and syempre sa pagdating ng pinaka malaking blessing sa family namin..Baby Meng..(Thank you Lord for the wonderful 12 months of 2015!.Cheers !)

9. Have a 'date' with David and have a proper closure. Though parang malabo.,busy ang ha......pon na un eh..(pisti!)

10. Buy Gift for Ninang Betbi and Auntie Wet,,.(syempre sa january na din yon..for i want to prepare something special for them.)

So yun na nga.,plano ko lahat yan sa Christmas.,ni wala ngang para sa akin di ba?.. Eh,wanna know my New Year Plan as of now?.. I only have one plan this New Year:

1. CRY WITH MY BESTFRIEND UNDER THE FIREWORKS!.(CAPS para intense)..hahaha chos!..eh kasi naman hindi kami makakauwi ng New year's eve.,so me and my ever supportive Bestfriend( qouta ka sa bait dito sa blog ko..alamoyan!) are planning to celebrate new year with each other alone since nasa duty ang iba naming friends that time.,walang holi-holiday dito dapat kayod lang ng kayod!.para sa ekonomiya! Sa totoo lang kasalukuyan naming nagpa-plano ngayon..bilang pitong hakbang ang layo namin sa isat-isa ngayon,.kaya sa chat kami nagpa-palano.,take note: niyayaya nya kong uminom.,one on one..(cheers!.hehe.pero i said 'no thanks..'..feeling ko kasi magsasayang lang kami ng pera pambili ng wine..baka ako lang din ang umubos pag nagkataon..) but nonetheless,.i still want to welcome 2016 with a happy heart even though i will not be with my Family on New Year's Eve.

Oh yun na!..wala naman akong masyadong plano.,dahil sobrang blessed ko na this year ..minsan,.i couldnt think of something to ask for more..

Merry Christmas and A Prosperous New Year Earthlings!.

Lots of Love,

Nikita

the last time I told mama 'I love you'

So im here in the office.,seating pretty in front of the computer and staring outside the window.,its raining  and the sky is a bit moody..(tama ba?.haha)..i just finished updating one of my pending stories in wattpad.,and my update is kinda lame but,.ewan ko ba.,kung kelan walang exam ngayong december ay dinapuan talaga ako ng 'katam' (katamaran).,tulad ngayon,.seems like im so 'unproductive' this past few days., :( that's so sad.. 

Lately while im listening to random songs na nasa playlist ko,.bigla kong naisip si Mother earth.,(hehe).,hindi kami naging close to the bones ng nanay ko..we are exactly,definitely,indeed the opposite of opposite.,from head to toe.,she never like the way i dressed,the way i eat of course!(naiinis sya sa weight ko! hahaha)..but once in my life naranasan ko din naman na she adores me..gusto mo malaman?..when me and my siblings we're just kids pa,.mama adores me the most,.first,because they thought i will be the youngest,.(eh nasundan pa?.kaloka!),.pangalawa at pang huli,.i got the freakin' cuteness looks nung bata ako.. (anyare?..niligawan ako ng ref at mesa namin kasama pa ang plato,kutchara at malamig na tubig!).,mama loves to dress me, braid and style my long and shiny hair and she really loves to take pictures of me.,(punta kang bahay namen,.pinaka marami akong petchur!.promise!).love daw kasi ako ng camera kaya laging naka-click ung camera sakin,.pati sa mga kapatid ko din naman pero mostly talaga,.sakin.,nung 7th birthday ko nga,pinagawan pa nila ako ng malaking picture..at huh!.ako lang ang may ganon samin,.(hahahahahaha..tnx ma!).at hindi sa pagmamayabang.,i always hear may mama's friend saying 'ang ganda naman ni Nikita' and mama will proudly answer them 'syempre mana sakin'..

Until this adorable little kawawang girl started to gain weight and such.,hindi ko alam kung dahil ba lumalaki nako non or what,.ayaw ko na ng inaayusan pa nya ko,.ayaw ko ng sya ung magsasabi sa damit na gagamitn ko.,lahat gusto ko ako nalang.,hay!..so un na nga.,may kapatid na ko nun na bunso.,sa kanya na madalas ang atensyon.,but thats perfectly fine with me for i prefer to stay in my room during weekends and my free time.,im a looner type of person noon pa.,okay nga sakin ung walang kasama at kaya kong mag survive ng 1 buwan ng walang kausap. I become busy with myself and mama become busy with her own stuff being a mother for four children and a wife to dad so,we never had the time to be close .again.

Nakakainggit nga di ba?kasi close sila ng ate ko at ng kuya ko.,makatatay kasi kami ng bunso kong kapatid.,pero ganun yata talaga eh,.hahaha..

I still remember the last time i tell mama 'i love you' in personal.,graduation ko ng elementary.. April 10, 2006.,we are asked to say thank you to our dear parents..i was so shy to stand and say thank you to her since we are not close nga.,so pagtayo ko sa harap nya she said. "ano?" and i answered her "ano? i love you!" grabe!.as in grabe!.she immediately cry right after i said I LOVE YOU!..naiyak din ako non!..at ang hirap umiyak dahil baka masira ang make-up ko.,may dance presentation pa naman ang buong batch namin after ng ceremony.

from then on,.hindi ko na inulit yon.,i never as in never told or telling her 'I love you' in person.,feeling ko masyado syang ma-o-overwhelm at iiyak nanaman sya.,and when my mama cry,.i feel like crying too.,but sometimes i randomly text her saying 'i love you ma' or 'love you mommy'.,i dont know her reaction whenever i texted her i love you's  since i never ever receive any reply from her. Mama is not a showy type of mother.,though we're not close, I love the way how she raise me,.(ewan ko lang sa mga kapatid ko kung anong feel nila or point of view.) I learned life in a hard way..(tama ba ung term?). ganun nya ko pinalaki.,sila ni Daddy. Even though daddy gave everything we need (sa abot ng makakaya nya.) still, andun yung, 'kung gusto mo,paghirapan mo'..

So yun na nga.pero sa last days ko sa college,.mejo nag improve naman ung relationship namin ni Mama.,mejo close na., lalo na nung kino-consider ko na ulit ung mga suggestion niya on how to do this and that, on what to wear or not.,and now that im starting my working career,i can say that,.we're kinda close,.ung feeling na,.proud sya whenever they will say 'nakakatulong na pala si Niki sainyo' and she will proudly reply, 'ito na ung swerte ko eh'..whenever i miss her,.i often post a picture of us together.,with a caption : 'I love yoou ma'..if you will check my FB accounts you will find some random status there saying 'love you mommy!' , i miss you ma!' and the likes..

PS: to my Superman's Lois Lain,. I love you forever!.kahit di tayo magkamukha!.

me and mama.. :) sometimes i call her mommy.,wala lambing lang.. :)

Textmate.. :)

I was about to make an entry about our company x-mass party happened last December 10, but some memories from my past keeps on flashing on my mind.

I think that was first year high school when i got curious on what 'textmate' means,so syempre hindi ko naman isusulat to kung hindi ko sinubukan ang mag-textmate di ba?..edi ayun na nga.,i tried,.i got the number from a certain newspaper na laging binibili ni mamami.

So i texted the number i got from the newspaper,.it was said there that,.the owner of the number is looking for a textmate,.at dahil nga curious ako,.tnext ko na.  And to my surprise, the owner of the number replied after 30 seconds maybe?mabilis lang kasi,.like i texted her "HI" and she replied "HELLO"..agad agad.,i got excited,.but just like others,.i didnt give my realname because i was planning to (teka!,tagalog time muna.).eh kasi naman wala akong balak patagalin ang textmate textmate na yan,.pampalipas oras nga lang kasi dahil hindi pa ko luma-lovelife nun.,so yun nga.,i told her that my name is 'Lira'.,i got that name from encantadia because i really like Jennylyn Mercado and her role is Lira.,hehehe..

I didnt know that,.my textmate Jullian (thats not her real name,.pet name ko yan sa kanya,.sya si Jullian ako si Jillian,.kambal nga kase kame nun).,will be my constant textmate,.we even got to the point that,.we are treating each other as a bestfriend. As in,close to the bones though hindi pa kami nagkikita,.she live somewhere in Manila.,tanda ko pa nga ung buong address nya hanggang ngayon mula sa house number,street at lugar mismo,.

Jullian came from a broken family,.separated ang parents nya and she's an only child. She lives with her mother whom i used to call 'tita mommy'.,(ang cool at ang bait ng mommy nya.). As we got along,.unti-unti ko syang nakikilala,.we stay up late at night just texting and sometimes talking over th cellphone,.we have so much in common like, favorite food, color, attitude,.mga ganyan.,pareho din kaming 'shy tyoe' at first.,we like spending hours alone inside the room just texting and sleeping.,we treated each other like a sister since wala syang kapatid,.kaya sabi ko kami nalang dalawa,.she was so happy when i told her that we can be sisters,.twins to be more specific,.(baliw ba?..hahaha close kami eh!). Our friendship was close to perfect though we only see each other on pictures. Would you believe?.,we used to send picture to each other using snail mail or the traditional sulat?..hahahaha..ang saya kaya,.nakaka excite, But just like what other say,.nothing last forever.,even friendship sometimes.

Guilty as charge,.it was my entire fault for i played too much. Even though we we're that close, i didnt tell her who really i am,.even my real name.,i even created stories to her about my identity. Too young and playful that i didnt think na,masasaktan sya pag nalaman nya,.eh nalaman nga nya?..I cant find the right words to describe her reaction,.kahit tawag at text yon,.ramdam ko naman na galit sya,.i cheated yes i know. (insert deep sigh here).. i regret lying to her,.i regret i had loose a once in a lifetime friendship that could have been last forever if i didnt lied. If i trusted her from the very start. :(

Ang hirap ikwento ng mas detailed kase,.wala. Mahirap lang talaga kasi kasalanan ko. Kasi ang daming 'siguro' at 'sana'..

Good thing is that,.naging okay naman kami ulit but not that close just like before. she forgave me  but she didnt give our friendship a second chance. We're okay and thats it. No more,No less.. She even told me to forget everything and that includes our frienship. Dinaig ko pa ang brokenhearted ng mga panahong yon no!.

So there,another piece of cake on my past.,there is this song Jullian and I used to sing together over phone calls,. "Angel's Brought Me Here" by Guy Sebastian.,everytime i hear the song,..it always remind me of Jullian. Si Jullian na kambal ni Jillian.. si Ira at si LIra..

I was not that close to my ate and younger sister before,.i always feel neglected though dad gives me everything i ask basta kaya nyang ibigay (di kasi kami masyado close ni mama,.like,okay!.uso ang favoratism samin at middle child ako kaya alam nyo na..di ba?.kailangan ko pa bang ipamukha?,,haha..kaway sa mga middle child..).basta ewan ko.,feeling ko talaga ako ung always 'left behind'.,so when Ira came in the picture,.and we become twin sisters in our own ways.,i am so happy,.that finally, i have the sister i always wish and pray to have.

After years, i still have her letters.,.i choose to keep them just in case we accidentally bump to each other someday and become friends again.,masasabi kong 'uy ung mga sulat at pictures mo nasakin pa.." i want her to know that,ung identity ko lang naman ang fake,.pero ung naging besyfriend mo,.totoo un.ung friendship natin,totoo yon.

So un na nga.,nasa playlist ko kasi ung 'Angel's Brought Me here" kaya bigla ko lang sya na-miss..dito ko lang na-share to,.even my bestfriend and David didnt know about Jullian.,.ewan ko ba.,gusto ko kasi sana,akin nalang yun. Amin nalang ni Jullian.On the second thought,.parang nabanggit ko na din pala ito kay David pero pahapyaw lang at kahit kinulit nya ko noon ay hindi ko binuo ang kwento.Ayaw na ayaw kasi nyang nagsisinungaling ako dahil bad daw yun!.hahaha..

ps: i miss you kambal!.kahit hindi mo pa mabasa to.. :)

It's been a long and winding journey

But I'm finally here tonight picking up the pieces

And walking back into the night into the sunset of your glory

When my heart and future lies there's nothing like that feeling

When I look into your eyes

My dreams came true

When I found you, I found you

My miracle

If you could see what I see

You're the answers to my prayers

If you could feel the tenderness I feel

You would know it would be clear

That angels brought me here

Standing here before you

Feels like I've been born again

Every breathe is your love

Every heartbeat speaks your name

My dreams came true

Right here in front of you

My miracle

If you could see what I see

You're the answers to my prayers

If you could feel the tenderness I feel

You would know it would be clear

That angels brought me here

They brought me here to be with you

I'll be forever greatful, oh forever faithful

My dreams came true when I found you

My miracle

If you could see what I see

You're the answers to my prayers

If you could feel the tenderness I feel

You would know it would be clear

That angels brought me here..

reading is a virtue.

I do believe in that. I love reading pero hindi ung tipong pang-matalino..i have a lot of book collection.,ung mga tipong pang realidad ang peg. Pero meron ding pang broken hearted. Mawawala ba naman ang mga love story na may happy ending?..see? i told you i love reading wag lang 50-60 pages na case study ang babasahin. Yung tipong aaralin mo kung bakit minsan na ding bumagsaka ng ekonomiya ng amerika, kung bakit ang galing magpaikot ng china, kung bakit ganto at ganon ang india at kenya..nako!.kabowg na kabowg ang utak ko sa apat na taong pinapabasa kami ng mga ganyan..(pero thank you Lord!.nasurvive ko!).so gong back,im reading a certain story in wattpad now 'Sassy Classy Brat' by FGW.,while reading.,bigla ko lang naisip.,ang tagal ko na din palang hindi nagbabasa ng wattpad?..(hehehe) Nung kainitan ng pag gawa namin ng thesis,.first sem yon nung 4th year ako sa college,.si wattpad ang isa sa mga naging bff ko sa dorm.

That was August 2014.,i was really in my worse state,(ung tipong napapatino ko lang ang pag-iisip at emosyon ko pag kailangan namin mag revise ni Julie ng ibang parts ng thesis naming dalawa.,) i was crying my heart out everynight literally as in,ung tipong habang kumakain ang mga kasama ko sa dorm ng dinner, i stayed inside our room para umiyak mag-isa..Eunice being the ever supportive Bestfriend ever(wooooh!.regine!) will stop munching her dinner just to comfort me.,(atleast alam ko noon na mas mahal nya ko kesa sa dinner na pinaka hihintay nya after school). Pero syempre alam kong ninenerbyos lang sya dahil minsan nakakatakot daw akong umiyak.,i can still remember crying so loud..as in iyak kung iyak,.(ung may sound)..at kapag nagsawa nakong umiyak,.i always ask my bestfriend, "Hindi naman ako ung nang iwan di ba?" (with matching teary eyes pa) and again she will answer me "oo naman no!.hindi ikaw ang nawala.,pabayaan mo sya"..(who wouldnt love my bestfriend?..napaka supportive at kunsintidor nya. yes?..yes of course!).at dahil nga kailangan ko na talaga ng distraction that time,.i tried wattpad.

Wattpad keep me occupied during my free time. Break time sa school, after school, after revision of thesis, before bedtime..ow it was indeed the perfect distraction for me!..sometimes i will choose to sacrifice the 2 hours on my 5 hours sleep just to finish reading a story. Nakaka-adik talaga magbasa promise!. I even published my first story in wattpad on November. As of now, i have 2 stories that are completed and the other two are pending. Why? Im busy working na. Date estudyante lang ako na kunyare pagod na pagod sa school para hindi mautusan ni Mama kaya nakakapuslit ako sa pagsusulat.! haha!.

So, going back,.since i found out that reading is a perfect distraction when mending a broken heart,.i didnt stop reading. Wattpad, random articles, reality based books(reality based books ang tawag ko sa mga libro gaya ng para sa brokenhearted ni Marcelo, walang forever, at marami pang iba na ganyan ang genre..kung genre nga ang tawag dun..ung uri,,yan ganern.), pocket books, magazines..everything and anything under the sun or under the moon, nagbabasa ako!.. Because reading keeps me distracted from the feeling of so much pain, hurt,at lahat ng word na related sa sakit na gawa ng break-up.

At yan..dahil kahit papano nawala na ang inis ko..yan na ung 2nd entry ko for today.. :)

one Pissed-ful moment..

im starting to hate this day!..errr bakit ganon?.,ang daming taong ganto,ganyan?..ung mga taong gustong malaman lahat?.,ano pa ba ang silbi ng salitang secret at privacy?..arggghhh...im really pissed!.indeed!.nakalimutan ko na nga ung mga bagay na dapat kong sasabihin sa entry ko ngayong araw!.i was planning to write something about my classmate in College but,.arg!. wala nakong maalala sa mga bagay na pinaghirapan ko pa naman alalahanin mula kagabe., i promised her that my next entry will be dedicated to her..(my bad, :( im sorry Ganda!).

After 4 entries,.(this one is the fifth),.maybe you had notice that i always mention David,.its because David aside from playing with my heart (chos!.hindi totoo yon pero un ung gusto kong paniwalaan!),also played a big part on my life before.,napapansin nyo ba?.pakonti konti lang at binabanggit ko about sa kanya.,not that im still bitter or what,.its just that,i dont wanna talk about him anymore..i dont wanna dig in the memories we had made in our past relationship.,basta ayoko ng inuulit ulit!.pero bakit may mga tao ba na nag hilig alamin lahat?..hay!..

Naiinis tuloy ako ngayon ng sobra..(sorry Lord!).,what do people get after knowing the past story of others?..masaya ba sa feeling?..i am really not the type of person na tatanungin ka about sa past life mo lalo na sa past love story mo though im a big fan of happy-ever-after stories. Ibig sabihin,.sa ending ng love story lang ako tumitingin..wala naman din kasi akong magagawa kung hindi naging maganda ang ending ng lovestory ng iba di ba?eh ano ba kasing makukuha ko?wala naman din..maybe i can give some point of view but you dont expect me to ask 'what happened?' what are your plans?' ,.questions like those are really not my thing.,kahit nga sa love story ng bestfriend ko hindi ako interesado di ba?..kahit ikwento mo pa sakin yan ng kusa.,maya maya lang limot na limot ko na!.

I'll post another entry later when i get better..char!

Once in my life..

i'd just read ate dub's (ung ate ni Yaya dub,si ate Dub,.kilala nyo naman sya di ba?..si Ms. Niki..) blog again today and i was a bit teary eyed on one entry titled : God'd love is Amazing .. (nabasa nyo na ba?nakaka-touch no?)..

But anyway,.im writing this entry because after reading ng maraming blog buong maghapon (dahil nakakabagot maghintay ng 30 minutes para mag DC,Connect at chenachena..),Wala,bigla ko lang na-miss si... David pagtapos ko mabasa ung entry na yun nga ni Ms.Niki..the way she describe her husband John(si baeyaw sa twitter..haha),it reminds me of David,.at some point naisip ko bigla,.once in my life i had David who's ready to do everything and give everything just to make me happy and feel loved every minute of my life with him,(segu-segundo pa nga yata..) Before,when my relationship with David is...was..(ano ba ang dapat gamitin? is o was?..) nung ung relationship namin nasa first two years palang,.i never felt alone.,laging andyan si David,.like John,.parang walang luagr ung negativity sa kanya.,

Its just now that I realized 1 thing.,kahit hindi kami meant to be ni David,.ang swerte ko parin na makilala sya. Yes i was hurt in the end of our love story but atleast,.one in my life there is someone like David who made me his world even despite of being 'me' (im not a girlfriend material and i always make small issues big deals,.yes im like that and David knew it from the start.).

Hayyyy,.na-miss ko tuloy si David., :( (bold para ramdam mo)

Once in our relationship (oo na!,.mahilig ako sa 'Once' ngayong araw bakit ba?) so ito na nga.,ganto yon.,David being so madly, deeply inlove with yours truly,(yes ganda ko!). told me 'kung pwede lang ikaw na ung pakakasalan ko.'. And me being young and inlove,laging naiimagine na magkakatuluyan talaga kaming dalawa.(sure na sure na sya sakin nung mga panahon na sinabi nya yan eh!). I can still remember i told david that i want a grand Church wedding at nung nagbreak kame?..isa sa iniyakan ko ung 'paano na ung grand wedding?..charing!. but kidding aside.,pinangarap ko talagang ikasal sa kanya. Some people often ask couples, 'paano mo nalaman na sya na?' and the couple will answered, 'hindi ko alam eh,basta bigla mo nalang mararamdaman.'. Ganyan ang mga sagutan nila lagi db? db?.. Ano kaya ung 'bigla mo nalang mararamdaman' na yon?.. Naramdaman ko na ba yon date?..kasi nga di ba..akala ko talaga si David na..handang handa na nga akong magpakasl non di ba?pero syempre bata pa ko nung mga panahon na yon kaya hindi pwede. 

hayyyy,, (insert malalim na buntong hininga here..).."Wherefore art thou, my soulmate?"

i count you twice :)

Way back in college.,(nukks!.maka-way back parang 10 years na ang lumipas eh no?)..oh eto na talaga., i was just in first year when i met this 'someone'.,first meeting namin sa Psychology 101 and the Professor happened to be our class adviser for the whole semester. I seated in front of the second row beside my classmate Julie (one of my best buddy in college.). the class was just about to start when this 'someone' approach me and asked "may nakaupo ba dito?" she has this wide smile in her lips when..errr (mananagalog nako!) so yun nga.,nakangiti sya sakin nung lumingon ako para sagutin ang tanong nya ng 'wala'.. (oo!,.ganon ako sa mga hindi ko kilala..iilang words lang ang kaya kong ibahagi sa kanila.). She asked me if she can take the seat so i just said yes. I dont know how but I just found myself having a little chitchat with her,.we're even starting to throw 'mild' jokes with each other. We spend our first meeting in Psyc 101 in nominating our class officers for the first semester..,i was a bit comfortable with my new seatmate now whos name is Eunice by the way, she keeps on laughing at me everytime i talk (ung feeling na,parang lahat yata ng sasabihin ko akala nya joke!.) so para makabawi ako,.I nominated her as a 'Board Member' (ung taga bura ng sulat sa blackboard at white board everytime matatapos ang isang subject) and tadaaa!,.she won! (hahahahaha) i keep on laughing 'till the class was dismissed by Dr.Quiambao (our class adviser). Julie and i spend the breaktime with Eunice together with our two classmates Gerlie and Cjarlyn. I can still remember our first meryenda together is Burger buy 1 take 1 (sinong hindi naka-try nito nung first year?) Julie and Sarah (Sarah is with me and Julie before we met Eunice,Cj and Gerlie FYI) so as Gerlie and Cj,so eunice and i shared 1 order of buy 1 take 1 burger that costs 25 pesos., she paid 13 php and i pais 12 php,.i was shy then because she offered to paid more than i paid (oo!.ganyan kami kagalante!...tama ka.galante nga ang nabasa mo!.mahalaga ang bawat sentimo nung College!) Me trying to get even, paid for her magnolia juice drink that causes 12 pesos that time. (promise,un ang kauna unahang pagkakataon na hindi ako nag isip sa mababawas sa baon ko.,as in,bayad agad kay ate para hindi na makapalag si eunice!.sangalan ng hiyang inabot ko sa piso.!)

From then on, Julie,Eunice,Gerlie,Sarah,Cjarlyn and I become close buddies. We shared jokes and stories during our 'pamatay' na 3-4 hours break time, eat late lunch together, review together, and walk together hanggang palabas sa gate ng school. Though we are 6 in the group,.there is this 'someone' who became the closest to my heart (charot!).pero totoo yon,. Eunice and I became the closest buddy from the day we met in first year upto the time we receive our college degree in Business Economics.

Our friendship means a lot specially to me. The first thing i love about eunice is that, BFF nya si Lordie!..hahaha..feeling ko tuloy.,ang bait bait ko pag magkadikit kame kahit lagi ko syang binu-bully!. Second,. I really admire her patience mula sa pang-aaway,pang-iinis, hanggang sa pagtuturo sakin sa math at econ subjects. Third and last, i love how she value our friendship. It was like, she wouldnt let a day passed without saying sorry whenever i had this 'tantrums' thingy..(oo na!.topak un!.ayaw ko ng tagalog!.english dapat di ba?).

Sa lahat ng ayaw ko,sya ang pinaka favorite ko. Minsan bigla nalang ayaw ko syang kausapin ayaw ko syang tignan kahit wala naman syang ginagawa sakin. Buti nalang talaga, .. .. uhm..basta, buti nalang talaga!. ang salbahe ko bang bestfriend?..kaka-chat ko lang kay Eunice and i asked her that question and her answer is, 'NO.a bestfriend is someone who understand you until the end.Sanayan lang yan.hello?4 years na tayong bestfriend ganito parin tayo'. (that's exactly her answer.with explanation pa kahit hindi ko tinanong ng "why?" para intense siguro..haha.Biased ba sya?.bestfriend nya ko wag kayong anu dyan!).

Describe Eunice in 1 word. And my answer will be 'blessing'. Whenever i count my blessings, i always count her twice. (nuks!.ang swetttt ko!)

Let me share this another 'piece of cake' in the not so long ago heart break of my bestfriend.,Bilang mga responsableng anak,.three days after our graduation day,.we started working in Manila, this time its just me,Eunice and Julie. Eunice had a boyfriend for i think more or less 3 years?.. among the 3 of us, Eunice is the only one who have a stable relationship that time.,(M.U M.U nalang kami ni david non eh..so sad :( ) I had witnessed their love story and i must say, like normal couples, they fight and argue on somethings then kiss and make up after..ung tipikal na nagyayare sa isang relationship.,and as Eunice's bully bestfriend, i often say, 'uhmp!.i told you he's no good for you!' then she will answer me 'hindi naman..' (with matching paawa face)..whenever she's having this little drama with her boyfriend.,hindi ko pinapansin ung mga kwento nya..(pasensya na talaga!.hindi ko kaya ang deretchahang english!.hindi nyo na ko maiintindihan pag pinush ko to promise!).so un nga..kibit balikat lang ako okaya naman magtatanong ako ng ibang bagay like, 'magkakatuluyan kaya kami ni david?' which is sasagutin naman nya ng 'nasasayo naman yan eh' then charrraaann!!. naliko na ang topic..hindi naman sa ayaw ko syang damayan or what kaya ayokong naririnig ung mga 'little dramas' nya at ng boyfriend nya,its just that.. when she's sad, the feeling is mutual plus, her ex is a big NO-NO for me..as in never in my wildest dream na nagustuhan ko sya para sa bestfriend ko (except nung pinadalhan nya ko ng burney's burger nung birthday ko nung 4th years college..hahaha! thanks kervs!)..so going back,.of course as a bestfriend,.kahit ayoko, suporta nalang,dun sya masaya eh.,ayoko na ulit ulitin ung moment na pinapili ko sya between me and her beloved boyfriend.. 'ako o sya?' (cant remember if that was my exact question ..) and guess what?..syempre bilang inlove na girlfriend at mapagmahal na bestfriend,. hindi sya pumili..ayaw nya!.pero may sinabi sya noon na hindi ko kakalimutan ever!.that hurts my 'bestfriend' ego big time!.(pero syempre hindi ko sasabihin,.mababasa nya eh!.i already kept that for years and im still want to keep it,.for life!) so un nga, nakita ko kung gaano sya nag grow, silang dalawa..but just like what they say, hindi lahat ng love story my happy ending., it was like,.its just yesterday when i cried a river because David left me,.tapos ngayon, sya naman ang iniwan ni 'Blue' (lets call Eunice ex, Blue..un ang una kong nakita dito sa desk eh..cord na kulay Blue,.Coward nalang sana kaso,.mabait ako di ba?.kaya Blue nalang.). whenever i hear her silent cries at night,.i curse Blue in my mind a million times,.but just like before, i never show even a little bit of interest in the story of their break up.,(oo na!.wala akong kwentang bestfriend pero..ano ba?.ayoko syang makitang nasasaktan kasi nasasaktan din ako at gusto ko syang batukan dahil hindi sya nakinig nung sinasabi kong 'he's no good for you'!. naiintindihan mo ba?..syempre hind..lets continue.!). Hanggang ngayon,hindi ko pa alam ang totoo at buong kwento at ayaw ko pang alamin dahil alam ko,.kahit sabihin nyang okay na sya at naka move on na..ramdam kong hindi pa..


So much for that..yun nalang muna.,hintayin natin syang gumawa ng sarili nyang blog para malaman natin ang buong kwento at kung is-share nya.,

Kitams?..parang wala naman akong entry na mas makabuluhan di ba?..kung ano-ano lang kasi ang tumatakbo sa isip ko buong araw..minsan nga naiisip ko.,bat di nalang kaya ako mag asawa ng may magawa akong mas makabuluhan?.sa tingin ko kase,mas productive ang buhay ng taong may asawa.,lalu na ung mga babae.,maglalaba,magluluto,maglilinis,maghuhugas ng pinggan..ung mga ganyan..pero syempre joke lang na gusto ko yang gawin sa edad ko na to!..

PS:
i may not be the showy type of bestfriend, the sweetest and the most caring but Eunice,believe me when i say i Love you like a sister and i will be forever greatful that you seated beside me in our first meeting on Psyc 101,because i already marked that day as one of the blessed day ever happened in my life.

-much love,
your bestfriend :)

 The first picture was taken last april 2015.,and the second one was taken 4 years ago i think..we are still in first year college on the second picture.. :)

Home Alone thoughts..

Its friday-payday but here i am in the middle of darkness..chos!. mag-isa ako ngayon sa apartment dahil day-off nilang lahat!.i was a little bit confused lately,.i spend my whole day reading/stalking 'someone'..dapat ba pag gumawa ka ng blog,mostly english?. sorry mejo shunga ako dito! but anyway,.just wanna tell you guys that i suck in english,so pretty please?..bear with my grammar kung mapaenglish man ako..hehe..so,yun na nga..habang naghihintay ako ng DC,Connect at chenachena kanina,nagbabasa ako ng blog..do you know ate dub?..ung ate ni yaya dub?..hehe..i really like her,.parang,ang funny ng personality nya.(funny talaga?! 😆 hehe..) i mean,parang ang saya nyang kausap or kasama..parang ma-sense of humor.


At first, kung ano lang ung mapindot ko na entry nya, un na ang babasahin ko,.but later on, i just found myself reading everything as in!..hehe sunod sunod pa nga yata..from her wedding diaries, pregnancy and birth story of her baby boy..after reading her entries,.i was like 'nakakainspire naman!..buti pa sya may happy ever after..'



Let me share a piece of cake from my most recent heart break..my relationship with my ex lasted for about 5 years..everything seems so perfect though its a big NO-NO on the part of our parents..in short, hindi kami legal both side pero naka survive kami ng ganon katagal..bilib ka?..wag uyy..magaling lang kaming mag deny..😉😉.. Im such a spoiled baby,.ung tipong kahit hindi ko hingin,kapag naramdaman nyang gusto ko,.ibibigay nya agad agad!.i still remember telling my ex,.'kung sino ung unang taong magbibigay sakin ng singsing sya na ung pakakasalan ko' ..so,when our first anniversary came,my ex gave me a ring..hehe..teka,para d awkward,.bigyan natin 'sya' ng code name..since i am listening to Forevermore by David Archuleta now,lets call my ex by the code name, 'David'.


David made me his world..he never let (ano?english pa?ako nga hindi ko na maintindihan ang mga sinasabi ko kaka-english!) so ito..alam mo ung pakiramdam na ikaw ung mundo nya?.na gagawin nya ang lahat para mapasaya ka?.ung magpaparamdam sayo na sobrang mahal ka nya?.ung kahit magkasama kayo kanina nami-miss ka na nya ngayon kahit katext mu sya?..ung iiyak sa harap ng maraming tao kahit magmukha syang tanga?.. lahat yan, naramdaman ko..na-experience ko..kay David..


David was madly,deeply inlove with yours truly..hehe..(syempre alam ko yon!.ramdam ko eh!.) each day with David is full of unexplainable happiness. I always find myself falling inlove all over again everyday. Bakit hindi?.. Hindi naman araw araw may David na biglang dadating sa buhay ko at mamahalin ako ng todo todo..but i guess, real life is not always like the fairytales we used to watch on Disney Channel..not all love stories have their happily ever after..


And...so much for the 'piece of cake' in my past..really,i find it hard to remember the things about how David and I started..hehe..Guilty as charge, im still in the process of moving on and daaaaannng!!.it is really a hard process.. 5 years!. i spend 5 years of my life loving David..but he left and his last words to me were 'AYOKO NA>>PAGOD NAKO'. Yan CAPS para intense! gaya ng naramdaman kong sakit nung iniwan nya ko..super intense!.



pS: while im reading the blogs of ms.Niki lately,.David suddenly crossed my mind and as if on que,i checked my cellphone just to see a text message saying.. 'pau pano mag print ng damet sa screen?' and the sender is David.